Losses are Natural
In life losing people and situations and even things is natural. Losing someone we love is going to happen to all of us at one time or another. Losing a relationship is inevitable at times. Losing our minds can happen but most times we fortunately do hold on to that part of ourselves. Losses as I read many years ago in a book called "Necessary Losses" are common and will happen to each of us at various intervals of our life. How we handle the losses is what is important and what matters. Handling our losses with some form of patience and self-love is key. We cannot let losses be interpreted as something that happens because we did something wrong or something that happens because we are underserving or did something wrong. Often times we even see our losses as a punishment when in reality we did nothing to create a loss in our life. People will die, people will coward out and abandon their chldren, people will be disloyal and people will walk out without any explanation. We need to know that this is a natural occurance and that we did nothing to create it or make it happen to us. We just have to view it as a necessary loss among many we will experience in life.
No one likes to be left behind. No one likes to end things with people. No one likes to lose anything or anyone. But the truth will always be that we will experience it and experience it over and over and over again. As we go through life we lose but on the other hand we win or we gain things and newness comes to our life. We must invite it in and simply let go of the things and people we have lost, especially because we normally don't lose things or people without there being a good reason. As we move into the new we must open our hearts up to the new. The new people, the new places and the new life we will live. For some of us it will mean that we move to a new location.
Along with the newness comes stress. It is natural to experience stress especially because certain types of changes are high stressors. Moving is one. Divorce is another and death is of course another huge stressor. Along with these stressors are things like losing your job and starting a new job. If we see these changes as normal we are not going to experience no stress but we will experience less of it. We simply need to admit that the stress is there and it is natural and OK to feel it and then let it go as much as possible. We need to know we will get through the stress to the other side. We need to be assured that we will make it to the other side of the stressful situation. We will make it in the same way we made it before and we must believe that. No stress will take us down unless we let it.
Recently a gentleman spoke to me about how his friend who was experiencing a serious illness was doing so well emotionally. He followed that up by saying that he would not be able to deal with something like that. I almost remained quiet thinking that perhaps it would be best to just keep my opinion to myself but alas I could not. I told him about my cancer, my subsequent operations, chemo and radiation. I shared with him that I would not have thought myself strong enough to get through the last year and few months, especially the treatments and then being left in the midst of all of it. But as goddess would have it I not only made it I actually grew from it. The desire to live trumped the desire to die. My desire to continue to live along my children and family trumped the illness and pain. What we don't realize is how resilient we really are. We don't know it until we are in it. We don't know it until we experience it. Yet when the moment comes we deal with the losses the way I dealt with the loss of the physical parts of my body and the relationship. The way that I dealt with the loss of the person I use to be because now I would be a different man. Today I realize that the way that I dealt with loss was natural because in a very simple manner losses are suppose to happen to us. We will lose but for all the things we lose we will invite things we gain. Wisdom, love, compassion, more tenacity, faith, hope and more. I have gained more from my losses than what I have lost. Life is a beautiful gift even when we lose some of them.
No one likes to be left behind. No one likes to end things with people. No one likes to lose anything or anyone. But the truth will always be that we will experience it and experience it over and over and over again. As we go through life we lose but on the other hand we win or we gain things and newness comes to our life. We must invite it in and simply let go of the things and people we have lost, especially because we normally don't lose things or people without there being a good reason. As we move into the new we must open our hearts up to the new. The new people, the new places and the new life we will live. For some of us it will mean that we move to a new location.
Along with the newness comes stress. It is natural to experience stress especially because certain types of changes are high stressors. Moving is one. Divorce is another and death is of course another huge stressor. Along with these stressors are things like losing your job and starting a new job. If we see these changes as normal we are not going to experience no stress but we will experience less of it. We simply need to admit that the stress is there and it is natural and OK to feel it and then let it go as much as possible. We need to know we will get through the stress to the other side. We need to be assured that we will make it to the other side of the stressful situation. We will make it in the same way we made it before and we must believe that. No stress will take us down unless we let it.
Recently a gentleman spoke to me about how his friend who was experiencing a serious illness was doing so well emotionally. He followed that up by saying that he would not be able to deal with something like that. I almost remained quiet thinking that perhaps it would be best to just keep my opinion to myself but alas I could not. I told him about my cancer, my subsequent operations, chemo and radiation. I shared with him that I would not have thought myself strong enough to get through the last year and few months, especially the treatments and then being left in the midst of all of it. But as goddess would have it I not only made it I actually grew from it. The desire to live trumped the desire to die. My desire to continue to live along my children and family trumped the illness and pain. What we don't realize is how resilient we really are. We don't know it until we are in it. We don't know it until we experience it. Yet when the moment comes we deal with the losses the way I dealt with the loss of the physical parts of my body and the relationship. The way that I dealt with the loss of the person I use to be because now I would be a different man. Today I realize that the way that I dealt with loss was natural because in a very simple manner losses are suppose to happen to us. We will lose but for all the things we lose we will invite things we gain. Wisdom, love, compassion, more tenacity, faith, hope and more. I have gained more from my losses than what I have lost. Life is a beautiful gift even when we lose some of them.
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