If You Were Going to Die Soon?

There are days when I feel like I surely have a death sentence looming over me.  I wake up most days understanding that everyone is going to die and I am reminded by some people of this fact.  I have be given a sentence and each day that I feel tired and worn out I get that I might be leaving this earth sooner than I planned it.  Still like an optimistic child I think that I am going to make it through each of the days when I start believing that I am not.  Still no matter what the diagnosis I keep believing that I am going to make a difference.  That I am going to fly above the illness and live longer than I would ever imagine.  Some days this is the only thing that keeps me going, distinguishing between the facts and the truth.

With all this said I wonder what it would be like if I knew for sure that I would be leaving this earth in let's say ninety days or in six months?  Would I behave any differently?  Would I do things any differently?  I believe that I would.  I think I'd have a sense of urgency.  I would want to get things done and tie up loose ends and leave my children with the most I can.  The most of everything in life that I have but most of all with the most assurance and joy in my heart.  I would like to leave them with all the love I can possibly leave them with and most of all with all the hope I can possibly leave them with.  I would like to leave them with the thought that life still has much to offer, even if I am not with them.

I think we would all do our best to make amends with others yet this is something we should be doing now whether we are dying or not.  We should be in our highest joy whether we are given a limited time to live or not.  We should be able to dance at our daughter's wedding whether we are to live six months or not and feel the joy of that last dance.

No matter what, whether we have ten minutes or ten years we must live every moment as if it were our last.  No one knows how long we will live, not one of us.  So if you were going to die soon what would you do?  Exactly what you would have done except with more urgency and excitement.

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