Neccessary Losses
I have been on a learning journey for over a year now, experiencing things I would not have ever thought I would get through, but as Goddess would have it, in her generous spirit, I have. Over the nay sayers, over the negative people, over the people who walked away in the middle of it all. What I realized was that the people who leave are part of the necessary losses. They are the ones who I thought would make it but instead they made it about themselves, unable to see past the fact that my terminal illness trumps their ego based thinking, some expecting me to be exactly the same person I was before when in fact the pain alone has been excruciating. It feels like my pain triggers their pain. It feels like my illness takes them back to when they were the savior archetype in their family growing up. The fixers and the one who resolved all the broken family stuff. I became a reminder of things that they would like not to recall or relive. I get it.
But really the most essential aspect of what has gone on in my life is that life has Neccessary losses and that year after year we experience loss. People come in and out of our lives and when they leave we cannot personalize it. We must know that it is their own personal pain that makes them run or leave us. They are no longer willing to feel whatever feeling they are feeling about your journey or your pain. In fact there are people in our life who have had to take care of sick people during their life time and have some anger issues around having to do that work. People whose brothers are schizophrenic or those who dealt with an alcoholic mother or dad. They just cannot deal with one more person who is needy and is asking something of them. They are weary of any situation that reminds them of those times when they were a caregiver and now feel like they don't want that anymore in their life.
Life is full of neccessary losses. We hardly ever have the same people in our life. We hardly keep all the people we started out with as youngsters and we rarely stay in relationships forever or all of our life. It is better to be prepared to lose relationships because it is likely to happen to all of us. It is best to be prepared to lose some people in our life whom we care about or love. As difficult as it may seem to lose a person we loved or liked in our life, it is a situation that happens all the time. How we perceive the loss makes all the difference in the world, whether we chose it or another person chooses it. So just remember that life will expose us to some sad moments like losing people or situations we might have liked not to have lost. Yet if we are realistic we accept it with wisdom and compassion for ourselves or others.
But really the most essential aspect of what has gone on in my life is that life has Neccessary losses and that year after year we experience loss. People come in and out of our lives and when they leave we cannot personalize it. We must know that it is their own personal pain that makes them run or leave us. They are no longer willing to feel whatever feeling they are feeling about your journey or your pain. In fact there are people in our life who have had to take care of sick people during their life time and have some anger issues around having to do that work. People whose brothers are schizophrenic or those who dealt with an alcoholic mother or dad. They just cannot deal with one more person who is needy and is asking something of them. They are weary of any situation that reminds them of those times when they were a caregiver and now feel like they don't want that anymore in their life.
Life is full of neccessary losses. We hardly ever have the same people in our life. We hardly keep all the people we started out with as youngsters and we rarely stay in relationships forever or all of our life. It is better to be prepared to lose relationships because it is likely to happen to all of us. It is best to be prepared to lose some people in our life whom we care about or love. As difficult as it may seem to lose a person we loved or liked in our life, it is a situation that happens all the time. How we perceive the loss makes all the difference in the world, whether we chose it or another person chooses it. So just remember that life will expose us to some sad moments like losing people or situations we might have liked not to have lost. Yet if we are realistic we accept it with wisdom and compassion for ourselves or others.
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