A Happier Life

We can all have a happier life if we:

1.  Accept who we are and where we are
2.  Embrace the body we are in now
3.  Live in Integrity and truth
4.  Let go of the past and the anger associated with it
5.  Have a practice of self-care and of action

I did not one day wake up and think "my life is bad and I am going to make it happy and great".  In fact I struggle often with accepting where I am, the body I am in, saying what I mean, allowing the past to past and practicing good routines that say "I love you Elliott".

For many years I kept a secret for the most part and that was that I was unhappy.  I also added insult to injury by saying that where I was at, whom I was with and my life was wonderful when in fact it was miserable.  I rarely spoke my mind or my truth because I was constantly on pins and needles.  I felt like I was in a prison that I created for myself.  I can honestly say today that I am taking back my power and becoming empowered in the skin I am in and liking it.

Many of us are in situations we are unhappy about and inside of that are the manifestations of the tension we feel.  We are ill with such things as depression and some of us are even diabetic.  Others of us have actually had a heart attack and in fact one friend of mine likely under fifty had one in the middle of the street in Paris.  We are seeing and feeling the pain of not living our truth , inhaling other people's toxic energy and busy being angry about the past.  I am not going to lie to anyone because in truth I still struggle with my anger about the way I perceived things came down on me and people who ran off into the sunset on their white horses.  I felt like a failure and then I believe that these folks made it true.  Big, Huge, Mistake.

In order for us to become more joyous about our life we have to first accept where we are now.  It may be that we are not employed or that our wife left us.  It may be that we are in a bad relationship with our boss at work.  Wherever we are we have to go easy on ourselves and be more accepting of where we are.  We will get nowhere by denying where we are now.

I am acutely angry at times that some parts of my body were cut off and others were affected by the treatments I received.  I fail to understand that it was all for a reason.  Now I must accept my body as it is and not shame myself any longer.  I am not the lean beautiful body I was a couple of years ago.  In fact I became so obsessed with creating a new body I forgot to eat better foods and do less boot camp training.  We have to accept our body the way that it is now.  Shaming ourselves will do no good.

I love Iyanla when she says "tell the truth" in a firm but caring tone.  She will sometimes in her coaching practice repeat those words several times and each time become a little louder.  Dr. Phils' line I love is "How is that working for you?" ?  This line is equally impressive in it's simplistic way of saying be in your integrity and stop doing the same shit and expecting it to work when you know it's not working and you are lying to yourself about it.  Being in your honesty is the best place you will ever be.  Telling the truth is the healthiest thing you can do.  Don't keep doing what is not "working for you" and expect your life to change.

The past past you by.  It is gone.  Let it rest in peace.  Let it the fuck go.  Don't keep hanging on to the past because when you do it only makes you miserable.  Again repeat after me: "Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person do die".  Let the past and the perceptions of others lay to rest finally in your life.  You will be a happier person for it.

Do things that are self-nurturing and loving for yourself.  Make it a plan.  Have a plan.  In fact make a plan in writing about where you want to go and how your going to get there.  Don't keep crying about spilt milk and instead take a lovely milk bath with some lux product.  Do things that tell your mind you love you.  Do things that say you care about you.  Stop telling yourself you don't have the time or that you don't deserve it or that you don't need it.  On the contrary train yourself to do things that say I love you to you.  Sometimes that could be as simple as getting a manicure.  At other times it could be a meditation practice for an hour.  Many a bike ride will do it.  I remember someone once telling me that her spiritual practice was playing soccer.  I believed her.  For each of us it is different but for each of us it is imperative.  Love thyself.

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