Get Connected by Disconnecting
There are times when I regret being on FB. The types of things I have read are usually not very intellectually stimulating or humorous to me. It is like people just have to say something so they do. That something that they say often times has no real value to anyone. I try to not post things unless I am moved to say something that might help others or it is a joyous event I want to share. When I get on FB I become bored almost instantly and get off, feeling as though I will be wasting my time and energy. But nothing gets to me more than the people who don't call me, email me or send me a card who only communicate via the social media. It worries me that we are becoming a group of people who share ourselves only on the surface and in a venue that does not require us to see anyone face to face. Not their pain, not their sorrow or their joyful smiles. We are satisfied with communicating in a way that I find more and more impersonal.
Recently I "friended: a person who sent me a "friend request". I had not seen this individual in years and know very little about him. I think it was a moment of kindness on my part because in reality I not only did not know him well, he was a person I felt was a bit superficial. Although likely a good person he was definitely not the type of person I would have wanted to share my deepest feelings with or to get close to. In a very simple way I just did not find him interesting and was not attracted to his personality. Still I was so silly and in the moment and decided to press that button to accept his "friend request". Yesterday I received a personal message from this person in which he stated something like: "I have some sound advise I want to share with you and will call you later this week/during the week." I immediately reacted in a way that is hard to explain except to say that I was surprised. The wording "sound advise" and the fact that he thought he could give me sound advise was a trigger for me, aside from the fact that I hardly know him. It felt personal and it felt invasive to me. Here is someone who has not spent any time at all with me or even invited me to dinner telling me he had some sound advise for me? Unfortunately for him I was not open to his "sound advise" and I responded with something like: No thank you. I hardly know you and I have not spoken to you in years. I added that I did not feel safe having a personal conversation with him and him giving me advise. I frankly felt like it was all so ridiculous. Here was a person asking to have a personal intimate conversation with me that does not know me, someone telling me he had some "sound advise" for me. I was not just not interested it almost felt like a joke. I then pushed the unfriend button and felt relieved to have that option.
Although it may be that some of us who don't communicate in person there are many of us who do and prefer it. I for one. I am fascinated and worried about the direction we are going in with communication and how we are so disconnect. I worry about what it will lead to and yearn for personal connections and good friends that call me, that I invite out and that connect with me in person. I yearn for a documentary that addresses this issue of social media and how it has effected our connections in a negative way. I worry about our young people who have found friends on FB who are posing as teens an that are luring them into hurtful and dangerous circumstances. After all is said and done I feel like we need to do less of what we are doing that creates a separation and kills our connections with each other.
We can change this media driven world and we can chose to disconnect from the things that disconnect us. We can achieve this by turning off our computers and televisions and tuning into others by taking the time to share with others and be with others completely, all the parts of us. We truly need to begin to see how ineffective our lives are becoming. Every moment that we live in person and in the now. Every moment we spend connected is a moment we will remember for a long time and for good reason.
Recently I "friended: a person who sent me a "friend request". I had not seen this individual in years and know very little about him. I think it was a moment of kindness on my part because in reality I not only did not know him well, he was a person I felt was a bit superficial. Although likely a good person he was definitely not the type of person I would have wanted to share my deepest feelings with or to get close to. In a very simple way I just did not find him interesting and was not attracted to his personality. Still I was so silly and in the moment and decided to press that button to accept his "friend request". Yesterday I received a personal message from this person in which he stated something like: "I have some sound advise I want to share with you and will call you later this week/during the week." I immediately reacted in a way that is hard to explain except to say that I was surprised. The wording "sound advise" and the fact that he thought he could give me sound advise was a trigger for me, aside from the fact that I hardly know him. It felt personal and it felt invasive to me. Here is someone who has not spent any time at all with me or even invited me to dinner telling me he had some sound advise for me? Unfortunately for him I was not open to his "sound advise" and I responded with something like: No thank you. I hardly know you and I have not spoken to you in years. I added that I did not feel safe having a personal conversation with him and him giving me advise. I frankly felt like it was all so ridiculous. Here was a person asking to have a personal intimate conversation with me that does not know me, someone telling me he had some "sound advise" for me. I was not just not interested it almost felt like a joke. I then pushed the unfriend button and felt relieved to have that option.
Although it may be that some of us who don't communicate in person there are many of us who do and prefer it. I for one. I am fascinated and worried about the direction we are going in with communication and how we are so disconnect. I worry about what it will lead to and yearn for personal connections and good friends that call me, that I invite out and that connect with me in person. I yearn for a documentary that addresses this issue of social media and how it has effected our connections in a negative way. I worry about our young people who have found friends on FB who are posing as teens an that are luring them into hurtful and dangerous circumstances. After all is said and done I feel like we need to do less of what we are doing that creates a separation and kills our connections with each other.
We can change this media driven world and we can chose to disconnect from the things that disconnect us. We can achieve this by turning off our computers and televisions and tuning into others by taking the time to share with others and be with others completely, all the parts of us. We truly need to begin to see how ineffective our lives are becoming. Every moment that we live in person and in the now. Every moment we spend connected is a moment we will remember for a long time and for good reason.
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