What is Love?

I hardly dare to attempt to define love yet in my years on this earth I have uncovered some form of defining love for myself.  I have most of all figured out what love is not and in this way I believe I am more clear on what love is.  

I guess I will be bold and share what I think love is and what love means.  I do this with humility and with the notion that I am likely not even close to being an expert on love.  

This is what I think: 

Love is when someone sticks by you and rallies for you no matter what.  Love means that even when we are wrong someone who loves us can share that with us in a way that is loving and not shaming.  

Love means we stay no matter what.  Someone who loves us is loyal to us and will not leave when we need them.  Love means that the person that you are with will stay by your side in times of need, especially when you are ill and in need of being nurtured and cared for.  People who love you won't leave when you most need them.  

Love means that one connects and stays connected.  A person who loves you is not disconnected and emotionally absent but rather connected emotionally and physically with you.  Love is when a person connects with you and demonstrates that connection by listening well to what you have to say and what you need.  

Love means that you are collaborative and do things in a way that is not competitive or like a contest.  There is no room for competition in a relationship that is loving.  In a loving relationship one supports their mate and ensures they are successful and feel that support.  When we compete with someone we love we are not in a loving space, we are in fact in a jealous place.  

Love is equal.  People who love each other ensure they do their part.  They don't expect one person to carry more of the responsibilities whether they are household issues or relationship issues.  People who love each other ensure there is equity in the relationship.  They are not self-serving takers but rather they make sure they do their part.  

Love is active.  When we love someone we show it to them with our actions.  We write lovely notes and we may even buy our partner flowers for no specific reason.  If we love someone we show it with actions that say we love that person.  We don't assume the person knows we love them, we demonstrate it to them day by day.  

Love is unconditional.  When we love we must love without conditions.  If someone does this or does not do that we don't withhold love but rather talk things out.  We don't tell someone we love that if they do something for us we will love them or if they do not do something we will not love them.  We love without holding our loved one hostage.  We love them without putting a price or an ultimatum on love.  

Love is fair.  If we say we love someone we treat them fairly just as we do our best friends.  We are not fair at times and not at others.  We are fair and just all the time.  We treat the person we love with fairness and respect.  

Love is respectful and kind.  We treat the people we love with respect at all times and we never insult them or shame them, even place blame  on them.  No matter what happens we do our best to respect the person we love.  When we disrespect someone we love we may not be able to take it back ever.  

Love is work.  Whoever said relationship was going to be easy did not take into account human flaws.  Not one of us are perfect and love is not something that just happens day after day and year after year.  It is something we work on both together and apart.  I think that the most beneficial thing we can do is our self-work because when we do it spills over to our loving relationship with the person we love.  If we think we are past doing our own work we are being presumptuous and unrealistic.  

What is love?  Many may say that love is different for everyone but in reality it is not.  Love is love and when we love we love with our heart and not our head, not any other part of  our body.  



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