"Holding A Grudge Will Hold You Back"
Today a black man who was accused of raping a white girl who was his classmate talked about being wrongly convicted and the fact that the charges were dropped on appeal. He added the fact that the girl had consenting sex with him in a classroom at school surprised him when she then turned it around and accused him of forcing her. I guess only he and she know what really happened but when someone is found to be wrongly convicted, especially a man of color it gives you pause about the truth.
I feel like there have been times when people have accused me of being mean or fowl that it feels very similar. My former partner use to accuse me of being mean or angry or hurtful. He also accused me of "playing victim" and told me that I should not expect all the attention" as I struggled with my cancer. I also felt like a lot of people believed him because on the surface he was this white boy next store who seemed very innocent and I was and am a man of color who everyone expects to be the bad guy riding the black horse (I love black) and dressed in the black suit looking like I came out of the Matrix. I had to be Quilty. I had to be the bad guy because I was the brown skinned man.
Today there is still racial profiling. I remember when I use to own a BMW and was stopped various times for no reason. On two occasions I was asked whose car it was because of course a man of color could not possibly own an expensive car. Once in California my friend lent me her car to visit a friend nearby. Again I was profiled and stopped and again I was asked whose car it was. I finally thought I did not have to respond to the question, so I said: "Whose car do you think it is? Do you think it cannot be my car, why?" The cop got the hint and looked up at me and stated: "Have a good day sir". I think he knew that he was profiling me but moreover that I knew he was.
Men of color are still being focused on for whatever reasons, mainly this belief that we are less than men that are white. White men can own a BMW but not us? Interesting but irritating and sad. We still live in a world where we are labeled and treated with suspicion. We must be dangerous? What is it that motivates this behaviour that is completely inaccurate? Who knows and who cares. That is my attitude now as long as I am not arrested wrongly or wrongly accused. I just live my life each day knowing who I am and my own value as a man. I don't get caught up in these bigoted thoughts from people who have negative karma.
I love people and my friends are of all backgrounds. I want everyone to love each other for who they are and am saddened that there exists false beliefs about Latino and Black men. I am saddened that we cannot really love each other as we are, fully and without censoring it. Sometimes, let me qualify that statement. Today is my birthday party and there will be Blacks, Latinos, Asians, Whites and all types of ages and professions. I am proud that I have not allowed one group of anglos to make me bigoted like them and that even today I don't allow my experiences with some anglos to effect my soulful experience with whoever I like and whoever treats me with love and compassion and respect.
If you are a person of color remember this. Acting out or downing the people who put us down is the same as them doing it to us. I recall a black student many years ago calling his teacher a white bitch. My conversation with him started with the question, "How would you feel if she called you a black bitch?" or your mom?" He got it and although that teacher was unable to continue to teach I had him apologize to her and specifically sighted that he did something he would not have liked said to him and that color was not the real issue but his behavior was. Nothing else had any bearing on his respect for a teacher including that she was white. WE cannot punish everyone in a group for what a few have done to us. We do have to stand up for our rights and then continue loving others and ourselves.
I feel like there have been times when people have accused me of being mean or fowl that it feels very similar. My former partner use to accuse me of being mean or angry or hurtful. He also accused me of "playing victim" and told me that I should not expect all the attention" as I struggled with my cancer. I also felt like a lot of people believed him because on the surface he was this white boy next store who seemed very innocent and I was and am a man of color who everyone expects to be the bad guy riding the black horse (I love black) and dressed in the black suit looking like I came out of the Matrix. I had to be Quilty. I had to be the bad guy because I was the brown skinned man.
Today there is still racial profiling. I remember when I use to own a BMW and was stopped various times for no reason. On two occasions I was asked whose car it was because of course a man of color could not possibly own an expensive car. Once in California my friend lent me her car to visit a friend nearby. Again I was profiled and stopped and again I was asked whose car it was. I finally thought I did not have to respond to the question, so I said: "Whose car do you think it is? Do you think it cannot be my car, why?" The cop got the hint and looked up at me and stated: "Have a good day sir". I think he knew that he was profiling me but moreover that I knew he was.
Men of color are still being focused on for whatever reasons, mainly this belief that we are less than men that are white. White men can own a BMW but not us? Interesting but irritating and sad. We still live in a world where we are labeled and treated with suspicion. We must be dangerous? What is it that motivates this behaviour that is completely inaccurate? Who knows and who cares. That is my attitude now as long as I am not arrested wrongly or wrongly accused. I just live my life each day knowing who I am and my own value as a man. I don't get caught up in these bigoted thoughts from people who have negative karma.
I love people and my friends are of all backgrounds. I want everyone to love each other for who they are and am saddened that there exists false beliefs about Latino and Black men. I am saddened that we cannot really love each other as we are, fully and without censoring it. Sometimes, let me qualify that statement. Today is my birthday party and there will be Blacks, Latinos, Asians, Whites and all types of ages and professions. I am proud that I have not allowed one group of anglos to make me bigoted like them and that even today I don't allow my experiences with some anglos to effect my soulful experience with whoever I like and whoever treats me with love and compassion and respect.
If you are a person of color remember this. Acting out or downing the people who put us down is the same as them doing it to us. I recall a black student many years ago calling his teacher a white bitch. My conversation with him started with the question, "How would you feel if she called you a black bitch?" or your mom?" He got it and although that teacher was unable to continue to teach I had him apologize to her and specifically sighted that he did something he would not have liked said to him and that color was not the real issue but his behavior was. Nothing else had any bearing on his respect for a teacher including that she was white. WE cannot punish everyone in a group for what a few have done to us. We do have to stand up for our rights and then continue loving others and ourselves.
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