The 10 Stages of Life: # 3
The third stage of life in accordance to Buddhism is Animality or "a life of instinct". This stage of life is accentuated by a desire to survive much like animals do in a jungle. The weaker animals are often times conquered or killed by the stronger species of animals. In the jungle that is natural but in the real world it does not have quite the same meaning nor is it always necessary. It may be true that there are people with more money who are full of their power and importance but literally killing someone else just because you can is not acceptable. In Buddhist beliefs we are here to help one another and lift each other up not conquer and beat each other at all things and to be so competitive.
I am almost at the end of over 11 years of a relationship that I am yearning to end legally. It is the part that is left in theory because in reality I have been divorced to this person for many years. In fact every year was a challenge for me and each year I failed to honor myself by letting it go knowing fully that it was abusive in more ways than one, the physical being the least of it. I realized that I was in a competitive relationship with a person who learned that competition was a necessary evil and a game that needed to be played out because someone always had to win or be right and making someone else wrong made you right. It was one of the most unusual relationships I'd had and topped the physically abusive ones by far, although there was some physical manifestations of abuse as well. Yet nothing was worse than being told directly or indirectly that I was wrong and not good enough as well as inferior. For me it was an example of someone living a life of fear and instinct much like an animal more than a human being with compassion. Things could turn on a dime and suddenly the animal like behaviors rose up like a monster in a cave.
We are instinctual human beings. I believe that this is what Buddhism is trying to tell me. But we must know how far to take it. We must know we are not animals but thinking human beings who can make choices not to injure or hurt others in deed or in words. In humans, compassion, love, sympathy and empathy have to win over the competitive instinct to win or to be the only one standing. For me it almost cost me my life because the truest manifestation of a miserable life with a competitive person led to cancer. It was not this person's fault but it was fueled by the notion that I was no longer useful sexually and in fact I might be a burden. For this reason I am determined to be the highest self I can be and I have done things that I never ever thought I would be able to do, namely, for one, survive.
The instinct of animality is a stage in our life that we will overcome or we won't. We may live like an animal not caring what happens to others, competing with our spouse or friends or we can live a life of collaboration and of thoughtfulness. I choose to live the latter.
I am almost at the end of over 11 years of a relationship that I am yearning to end legally. It is the part that is left in theory because in reality I have been divorced to this person for many years. In fact every year was a challenge for me and each year I failed to honor myself by letting it go knowing fully that it was abusive in more ways than one, the physical being the least of it. I realized that I was in a competitive relationship with a person who learned that competition was a necessary evil and a game that needed to be played out because someone always had to win or be right and making someone else wrong made you right. It was one of the most unusual relationships I'd had and topped the physically abusive ones by far, although there was some physical manifestations of abuse as well. Yet nothing was worse than being told directly or indirectly that I was wrong and not good enough as well as inferior. For me it was an example of someone living a life of fear and instinct much like an animal more than a human being with compassion. Things could turn on a dime and suddenly the animal like behaviors rose up like a monster in a cave.
We are instinctual human beings. I believe that this is what Buddhism is trying to tell me. But we must know how far to take it. We must know we are not animals but thinking human beings who can make choices not to injure or hurt others in deed or in words. In humans, compassion, love, sympathy and empathy have to win over the competitive instinct to win or to be the only one standing. For me it almost cost me my life because the truest manifestation of a miserable life with a competitive person led to cancer. It was not this person's fault but it was fueled by the notion that I was no longer useful sexually and in fact I might be a burden. For this reason I am determined to be the highest self I can be and I have done things that I never ever thought I would be able to do, namely, for one, survive.
The instinct of animality is a stage in our life that we will overcome or we won't. We may live like an animal not caring what happens to others, competing with our spouse or friends or we can live a life of collaboration and of thoughtfulness. I choose to live the latter.
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