How to Get Over It
I am in the process, as many know, of divorce. In addition I am still fighting cancer although I try to maintain a positive attitude, faith and truth. I wake up every day knowing that I will have work to do in order to get through it and over it. I for one would never minimize anyone's pain and anguish. Living in this world will challenge each of us for there is no warranty on life and no guarantee that things won't happen that will disturb you peace, serenity or balance. It may be that bad things happen to good people but good things also happen to good people. When challenged in life this is what matters:
Perception: How you perceive any given situation.
Attitude: Your attitude of forgiveness and around the situation.
Self-work: Doing the daily self-work needed to grow and be able to handle any situation.
Mentorship: Getting the proper mentoring or help from professionals that can help you.
Groups or Programs: Joining others who are experiencing something similar or a twelve step program that is suited to the issue at hand.
About Perception:
How you look at things is key to healing from them. If you look at your situation as inevitable and that there is no solution then that is what will happen, nothing. If you perceive that you are able to meet the challenge and that you are willing to do the work to resolve it then you will operate from a place of healing and getting through it. Perception is actually everything. We must decide what our view of this situation we are presented with is. What do we know will happen and what are we willing to do to make it happen? With a perception that is positive and includes faith we can reslove things. A perception that says we will be able to resolve something that is happening in our life will help us to actually resolve it.
About Attitude:
An attitude of gratitude as we hear of all the time is one that will go far. If your attitude is one of being grateful for what you have and not what you don't have or lost then you will be able to move on. We all know people who have the attitude that everything is terrible and are constantly focused on what they lack. These individuals are the ones we call and who complain about everything that has happened to them and about others who they think are the "real" problem. An attitude that requires us to take responsibility for what has happened in our life (because many times we are responsible for it) is the first step to getting through it. Our attitude tells us a lot about who we are and tells others about who we are. When we have a good, positive attitude we would be surprised at how much we can resolve.
About Self-work:
We can spend a lot of time complaining or we can decide to do the self-work needed to resolve our issues or what pains us. Self-work is doing things like meditating, working out, reading self-help books, bike riding or sailing. Anything we do that brings us joy is self-work, especially those things that require we look inside combined with play. I think that the best self-work includes spiritual, emotional and physical aspects of our life. We work in each area when we address each of these things in our life by doing something on an ongoing basis that covers all the bases: spirit, mind and body. Just playing tennis is great but it only addresses the physical aspect of self-loving acts. It must be coupled with a spiritual act and an emotional plan. When we are deciding on self-work we have lots of options. We don't have to limit ourselves to those conventional ways of doing self work. What is imperative is that we are honest about where we are in need of doing the work.
About Mentorship:
I believe that for every person there is a mentor. We need only to be ready and the teacher or mentor will appear. Sometimes all we have to do is ask for him or her to appear and to be willing and ready. Our mentor can be a friend, a live coach or a therapist. Whoever our mentor is we need only find the right fit for us and the right person who we trust and connect with. In my own case it was my pastor, a spiritually based therapist and my sibling. Each person played a different role in my life and each one helped me to move forward and "get over it". Your mentor is waiting for you to find them. You need only sit and think about it and then call on your mentors. For some it is God and for others it is a great therapist. Either way the willingness to seek mentorship is a very important step to getting through it.
Perception: How you perceive any given situation.
Attitude: Your attitude of forgiveness and around the situation.
Self-work: Doing the daily self-work needed to grow and be able to handle any situation.
Mentorship: Getting the proper mentoring or help from professionals that can help you.
Groups or Programs: Joining others who are experiencing something similar or a twelve step program that is suited to the issue at hand.
About Perception:
How you look at things is key to healing from them. If you look at your situation as inevitable and that there is no solution then that is what will happen, nothing. If you perceive that you are able to meet the challenge and that you are willing to do the work to resolve it then you will operate from a place of healing and getting through it. Perception is actually everything. We must decide what our view of this situation we are presented with is. What do we know will happen and what are we willing to do to make it happen? With a perception that is positive and includes faith we can reslove things. A perception that says we will be able to resolve something that is happening in our life will help us to actually resolve it.
About Attitude:
An attitude of gratitude as we hear of all the time is one that will go far. If your attitude is one of being grateful for what you have and not what you don't have or lost then you will be able to move on. We all know people who have the attitude that everything is terrible and are constantly focused on what they lack. These individuals are the ones we call and who complain about everything that has happened to them and about others who they think are the "real" problem. An attitude that requires us to take responsibility for what has happened in our life (because many times we are responsible for it) is the first step to getting through it. Our attitude tells us a lot about who we are and tells others about who we are. When we have a good, positive attitude we would be surprised at how much we can resolve.
About Self-work:
We can spend a lot of time complaining or we can decide to do the self-work needed to resolve our issues or what pains us. Self-work is doing things like meditating, working out, reading self-help books, bike riding or sailing. Anything we do that brings us joy is self-work, especially those things that require we look inside combined with play. I think that the best self-work includes spiritual, emotional and physical aspects of our life. We work in each area when we address each of these things in our life by doing something on an ongoing basis that covers all the bases: spirit, mind and body. Just playing tennis is great but it only addresses the physical aspect of self-loving acts. It must be coupled with a spiritual act and an emotional plan. When we are deciding on self-work we have lots of options. We don't have to limit ourselves to those conventional ways of doing self work. What is imperative is that we are honest about where we are in need of doing the work.
About Mentorship:
I believe that for every person there is a mentor. We need only to be ready and the teacher or mentor will appear. Sometimes all we have to do is ask for him or her to appear and to be willing and ready. Our mentor can be a friend, a live coach or a therapist. Whoever our mentor is we need only find the right fit for us and the right person who we trust and connect with. In my own case it was my pastor, a spiritually based therapist and my sibling. Each person played a different role in my life and each one helped me to move forward and "get over it". Your mentor is waiting for you to find them. You need only sit and think about it and then call on your mentors. For some it is God and for others it is a great therapist. Either way the willingness to seek mentorship is a very important step to getting through it.
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