When You Hit the Wall Part 2
Now that I'd been through every obstacle I could think of with relative calmness I drive up to my garage and there they are, a swarm of thousands of mosquitos in front of my automatic garage door. I thought I was in an Alfred Htichcock movie for an instant. Then I looked at my front entrance and there was a nice swarm of them in front of the door and the sides of the entrance. I realized that the latch was locked on that door from the inside so I could only get in through the mosquito army in front of my car. I had not choice but to open the garage door where I could access the other door into the house. When I opened it the swarm of thousands of mosquitos came in with me. Like in a bad movie I grabbed a broom from the garage and began to try to get them away from the door in order to get in the house and get the insect killer spray. After I got in, got the spray and almost killed myself with the fumes I ran into the house thinking I would deal with the aftermath of dead insects the next day.
The next day I got up dreading going into the garage and as I had thought there were dead insects all over the garage floor, all over my car and hanging from spider webs that had been built but never noted until one hundred mosquitos resided onto them. I remembered I had an appointment in about one hour. That was as much time as I had to sweep hundreds if not thousands of insects off the garage floor that was wall to wall dead ass mosquitos. I managed the best I could and today there is still remnants of the incident. I had to wash the back door and the front one as well. Later I went to a hardware store to buy a wash one attaches to one's hose. I have not gotten to the rest of the issue and the rest of the cleaning up but this was for me the experience of the experiences. All be it seemingly small my state of physical being was so tired that I thought I may snap at any moment over this day and the subsequent morning yet I did not.
Through all of this I realized that I am really not the same person I was and that things like chanting and prayer will be disturbed by the ego forces as I refer to them. Others would say the devil but I just think it is some egotistic arrogance in us that keeps getting tested when we decide to find our mojo or inner peace. We sabotage it or something outside of us grabs us, some force or energy. We or it stops us or makes it hard for us but if we know it we know to release it and keep going like I did when the car would not start. When we hit that wall we need to know that there is a force and a reason and we cannot stop but rather keep walking, doing and going. We soon will realize that this too passes and that the negative karma will die if we don't allow it to swallow us up. Peace comes from knowing that there is a law of cause and effect and we many times create our own drama and even if we don't we should not follow it like an aimless being. We have to know where we are going and we have to jump over the wall and see that there is an expansive world on the other side.
The next day I got up dreading going into the garage and as I had thought there were dead insects all over the garage floor, all over my car and hanging from spider webs that had been built but never noted until one hundred mosquitos resided onto them. I remembered I had an appointment in about one hour. That was as much time as I had to sweep hundreds if not thousands of insects off the garage floor that was wall to wall dead ass mosquitos. I managed the best I could and today there is still remnants of the incident. I had to wash the back door and the front one as well. Later I went to a hardware store to buy a wash one attaches to one's hose. I have not gotten to the rest of the issue and the rest of the cleaning up but this was for me the experience of the experiences. All be it seemingly small my state of physical being was so tired that I thought I may snap at any moment over this day and the subsequent morning yet I did not.
Through all of this I realized that I am really not the same person I was and that things like chanting and prayer will be disturbed by the ego forces as I refer to them. Others would say the devil but I just think it is some egotistic arrogance in us that keeps getting tested when we decide to find our mojo or inner peace. We sabotage it or something outside of us grabs us, some force or energy. We or it stops us or makes it hard for us but if we know it we know to release it and keep going like I did when the car would not start. When we hit that wall we need to know that there is a force and a reason and we cannot stop but rather keep walking, doing and going. We soon will realize that this too passes and that the negative karma will die if we don't allow it to swallow us up. Peace comes from knowing that there is a law of cause and effect and we many times create our own drama and even if we don't we should not follow it like an aimless being. We have to know where we are going and we have to jump over the wall and see that there is an expansive world on the other side.
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