#Getyourownlifenow
Getting your own life means different things to different people but I can honestly say that my decision to get my own life now was prompted by:
A: People not being as responsive or loving or nurturing as I would have like them to be.
B: People who turned their backs on me when I was diagnosed with Cancer.
C: People I initiated contact and connection with that did not do the same back.
D: The reality that I cannot be made whole by anyone else but me.
E: The sitting at home day after day hoping someone would seek me out, call me, invite me or at least be reciprocal.
I understand now that I cannot make stoves out of refrigerator people. I don't mean to be offensive but this is my reality check and is the simplest way I can word it. People who are cold and not nurturing are not capable of being a warm like a stove. It is what it is. Accepting this was my first step to recovery from the hurt and the disappointment. They are who they are and so all I can do is bless them and walk away.
We cannot be made whole by anyone although many of us have tried and still believe that our spouse or partner fit I that role. For some it is a truth they are ready and willing to live with, but not me. I have found out the hard way that no one can make me whole, thus I decided that my single status is a gift and not a flaw at all. I can be whole by myself and in fact I am whole by myself as long as I have a whole life filled with activities and surrounded by love: love of nature, love of spirit and love of God.
I was once resentful to those people who abandoned me or were not responsive to my love and my connection with them. Not any more. I have come to understand that they are not aligned with what I feel is a real relationship and they are not willing to take that responsibility or that connection with a loving and serious dose of support and connection with me. Hence I release them with love and compassion in my heart. I no longer need to wait for that call because I know it is not coming and if it does I am not willing to wait.
In my quest to be loved I have sat back and waited for someone to call me but many times no one has. In my desire to be nurtured I waited reached out to people who could not and did not reach back. I finally understood how much I was wasting my time. Now I have come to understand that love is in side of me and that instead of looking for it from others I access it any time of the day. That resulted in my new thinking which is the: #getmyownlifenow concept. It is new for me and it involves:
A:Planning at least one activity a day for my self and my own joy.
B: Spending less time on activities that are not serving me like: TV, FB and being on a computer.
C: Addressing the things that need to be addressed that cause me stress and deter me from my joy.
D: Not avoiding but extending myself to others socially in any setting I am in.
E: Staying active physically and mentally.
What am I saying here? Well, let me summarize it for you. I have found my own life by doing something actively each day and by addressing my own issues without dwelling on the past. I am intentionally seeking new situations where I can meet others and allow them to pick me and seek me out. I am staying in an active place and spending less time sitting and thinking or trying to drown my feelings with the boob tube. I am getting my own life and thinking more selfishly like the people around me who did not make time for me and who I have released in a loving manner. I have come to the realization that the only person who can complete me is me. Now I am ready for whatever happens along the way and staying open to new situations and new people in my life. Now my time will not be spent seeking friends or family but being sought out by them if they chose to seek me out and find me worthy. If not that will be OK because I know myself to be worthy.
Here is what I would like to share with all of you:
Stop seeking people out who are not looking for you in return
Get your own life and fill it up with activities that are social and joyous
Make new friends and adopt family members if you need to
Ask your self why you are seeking wholeness in others and stop it now
Wish yourself greatness and good and it will be yours when you focus on yourself
Elliott Maximo Collazo
A: People not being as responsive or loving or nurturing as I would have like them to be.
B: People who turned their backs on me when I was diagnosed with Cancer.
C: People I initiated contact and connection with that did not do the same back.
D: The reality that I cannot be made whole by anyone else but me.
E: The sitting at home day after day hoping someone would seek me out, call me, invite me or at least be reciprocal.
I understand now that I cannot make stoves out of refrigerator people. I don't mean to be offensive but this is my reality check and is the simplest way I can word it. People who are cold and not nurturing are not capable of being a warm like a stove. It is what it is. Accepting this was my first step to recovery from the hurt and the disappointment. They are who they are and so all I can do is bless them and walk away.
We cannot be made whole by anyone although many of us have tried and still believe that our spouse or partner fit I that role. For some it is a truth they are ready and willing to live with, but not me. I have found out the hard way that no one can make me whole, thus I decided that my single status is a gift and not a flaw at all. I can be whole by myself and in fact I am whole by myself as long as I have a whole life filled with activities and surrounded by love: love of nature, love of spirit and love of God.
I was once resentful to those people who abandoned me or were not responsive to my love and my connection with them. Not any more. I have come to understand that they are not aligned with what I feel is a real relationship and they are not willing to take that responsibility or that connection with a loving and serious dose of support and connection with me. Hence I release them with love and compassion in my heart. I no longer need to wait for that call because I know it is not coming and if it does I am not willing to wait.
In my quest to be loved I have sat back and waited for someone to call me but many times no one has. In my desire to be nurtured I waited reached out to people who could not and did not reach back. I finally understood how much I was wasting my time. Now I have come to understand that love is in side of me and that instead of looking for it from others I access it any time of the day. That resulted in my new thinking which is the: #getmyownlifenow concept. It is new for me and it involves:
A:Planning at least one activity a day for my self and my own joy.
B: Spending less time on activities that are not serving me like: TV, FB and being on a computer.
C: Addressing the things that need to be addressed that cause me stress and deter me from my joy.
D: Not avoiding but extending myself to others socially in any setting I am in.
E: Staying active physically and mentally.
What am I saying here? Well, let me summarize it for you. I have found my own life by doing something actively each day and by addressing my own issues without dwelling on the past. I am intentionally seeking new situations where I can meet others and allow them to pick me and seek me out. I am staying in an active place and spending less time sitting and thinking or trying to drown my feelings with the boob tube. I am getting my own life and thinking more selfishly like the people around me who did not make time for me and who I have released in a loving manner. I have come to the realization that the only person who can complete me is me. Now I am ready for whatever happens along the way and staying open to new situations and new people in my life. Now my time will not be spent seeking friends or family but being sought out by them if they chose to seek me out and find me worthy. If not that will be OK because I know myself to be worthy.
Here is what I would like to share with all of you:
Stop seeking people out who are not looking for you in return
Get your own life and fill it up with activities that are social and joyous
Make new friends and adopt family members if you need to
Ask your self why you are seeking wholeness in others and stop it now
Wish yourself greatness and good and it will be yours when you focus on yourself
Elliott Maximo Collazo
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