Active Parenting
I believe that with all that it takes to get through one day as a parent is an accomplishment. I understand that just getting the kids up, getting them to move into action and get dressed and ready for school before you are late to work is like a battle we fight each day, day in and day out. By the time the end of the week roles around we are exhausted and then we start that routine all over again on Monday. What is so scary about this day to day routine is that very little active parenting and communication happens and frankly there is an argument for not adding anything more to our mother and father role. Yet what we know is that active parenting that involves ongoing communication is vital to the healthy upbringing of children. One of the main complaints children have is that they are not heard and that often times when they get attention it is negative attention and elicited by something they did wrong. Active parenting means that we parent all the time and that the connection between parents and children should be more than just a day to day survival.
Active parenting means that:
Parents ask their children how their day was without fail:
Every day children should be asked how their day went. They must know that mom and dad care about how things are going and that there is always a chance to share joy and frustration. When we ask our children how things are going we are also staying current and on top of things. There is not excuse for our children to withhold information if we are asking that magical question each day: How as your day today?
Parents and children communicate and share their feelings of joy and their feelings of sadness:
In a healthy household where parents are active both children and parents are free to share how they feel and be able to express their disappointments and what they need. Parents give their children a daily opportunity to share what they feel and do so without any fear so that things do not accumulate and end up blowing up eventually. Active parents want to know how their children are feeling and that if there are concerns that they will be addressed.
Parents make purposeful plans and active activities with their children:
Making plans with our children is all about active parenting. Activities like game night and a weekend hike are ones that bring parents and children together. The more activities planned as a family the closer they will all become. Active things like swimming or taking a walk in the park forest are ones that will fulfill the need for children to connect with their parents. The more it is practiced the more natural it will be for children and parents to connect and enjoy time together.
Children are not afraid to share their opiniond and feelings:
When children are addressing issues like peer pressure or divorce or sexuality they need to know that they can share their opinions and feelings. Asking a child to "suck it up" as some believe good advice is truly not productive. Parents must take note of their children's body language and ask the right questions that will open the door to communication that is deeper and involves one on one communication.
Children feel like they are heard and what they think and feel matters:
Children are constantly forming opinion about life and parents must be there to validate this feelings. They want to be heard and who can blame them? Active parents ask deeper questions and when they note unusual behaviors should immediately ask their child to sit and share their feelings. With so much teen suicide it is truly imperative that mothers and fathers ask how their children are feeling emotionally and if there is anything that is concerning them or weighing on them.
Children are acknowledged for their successes and wins:
Every time a child gets a good grade or wins a game in school it is a parents job to acknowledge them. We tend to wait until our children to something wrong and then acknowledge it and fail to recognize them for the good things they do and celebrate that with them. Wins are things that happen that are good or behaviors that are changed for the good. We must let children know that we noticed their improvements and wins.
Active parenting means that:
Parents ask their children how their day was without fail:
Every day children should be asked how their day went. They must know that mom and dad care about how things are going and that there is always a chance to share joy and frustration. When we ask our children how things are going we are also staying current and on top of things. There is not excuse for our children to withhold information if we are asking that magical question each day: How as your day today?
Parents and children communicate and share their feelings of joy and their feelings of sadness:
In a healthy household where parents are active both children and parents are free to share how they feel and be able to express their disappointments and what they need. Parents give their children a daily opportunity to share what they feel and do so without any fear so that things do not accumulate and end up blowing up eventually. Active parents want to know how their children are feeling and that if there are concerns that they will be addressed.
Parents make purposeful plans and active activities with their children:
Making plans with our children is all about active parenting. Activities like game night and a weekend hike are ones that bring parents and children together. The more activities planned as a family the closer they will all become. Active things like swimming or taking a walk in the park forest are ones that will fulfill the need for children to connect with their parents. The more it is practiced the more natural it will be for children and parents to connect and enjoy time together.
Children are not afraid to share their opiniond and feelings:
When children are addressing issues like peer pressure or divorce or sexuality they need to know that they can share their opinions and feelings. Asking a child to "suck it up" as some believe good advice is truly not productive. Parents must take note of their children's body language and ask the right questions that will open the door to communication that is deeper and involves one on one communication.
Children feel like they are heard and what they think and feel matters:
Children are constantly forming opinion about life and parents must be there to validate this feelings. They want to be heard and who can blame them? Active parents ask deeper questions and when they note unusual behaviors should immediately ask their child to sit and share their feelings. With so much teen suicide it is truly imperative that mothers and fathers ask how their children are feeling emotionally and if there is anything that is concerning them or weighing on them.
Children are acknowledged for their successes and wins:
Every time a child gets a good grade or wins a game in school it is a parents job to acknowledge them. We tend to wait until our children to something wrong and then acknowledge it and fail to recognize them for the good things they do and celebrate that with them. Wins are things that happen that are good or behaviors that are changed for the good. We must let children know that we noticed their improvements and wins.
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