How To Identify Passive Agressive
To some degree we have all likely gone down that road and been passive aggressive. We do this because we do not want to appear as though we are doing something wrong, that we are angry or to get back at someone in what we think is an indirect manner. The truth is that passive aggressive behavior is unfair, cruel and at times abusive. We think it it to be harmless yet in the long term it can destroy a relationship between friends or partners. It is hard to identify passive aggressive behavior but it is important to be able to see it and to put a stop to it whether it is your behavior or someone else's behavior. The belief that passive aggressive behavior is harmless or that it is a viable solution to any conflict between people at work, at home or in our intimate relationships is very far from the truth. In fact, passive behavior can easily destroy a friendship or a marriage.
When someone pulls that silent treatment on you this is passive aggressive behavior. When someone holds back love or affection of any kind, that is also passive aggressive behavior. When a person is not forthright and honest about anything that is passive aggressive behavior. When someone does not do something they said they would do and continues to string you along and make excuses that is passive aggressive. Any behavior that is an indirect dig is passive aggressive and abusive. One of the definitions of passive aggressive is: any behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands or needs of others, avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastination, pouting, or misplacing important documents. A defense mechanism that allows people who aren't comfortable with being aggressive to get what they want under the guise of trying to please others. They want to others to like them.
And so it is that passive aggressive behavior and people who are passive aggressive are ones who hear what you want and expect from them but who resist complying by procrastinating or by simple not doing it. Later that same person will claim that you make them feel stressed and that this is that reason they did not pay a bill, clean the bathroom or mail a letter. People who are passive aggressive like to play the victim role once they are called out. They are passive aggressive because they don't want to take responsibility for their lack of action, they don't want to be called out and they disguise their feelings by for example talking behind your back to others instead of sharing their feelings with you. Unfortunately along with passive aggressive behavior they tend to be manipulative as well.
What is the point of knowing how to identify passive aggressive people? Well, this is an individual need but more than anything there is good reason to know the behavior so as to put a stop to it and to not allow it to fester and become something you will in the end become frustrated with. It is a behavior that is unhealthy and dishonest and one that will end relationships based on the fact that is a form of abuse. When people are passive aggressive they are also being dishonest and using others. The tendency to use others is in itself abusive. We may not identify a loved one or friend as passive aggressive yet somewhere inside of us we feel like we are being insulted or used in some way. That in itself is the sign that you are dealing with passive aggressive people and that it is time to set boundaries and to call them on their behavior.
Of course we could be the passive aggressive person in a situation. In that case we must begin an honest journey to change that in us. Passive aggressiveness is not something to be dismissed or to skirt around. It is serious and it hurts others. Saying what we really mean is much more honest and will get results while keeping it inside and then allowing it to come out indirectly is unhealthy. It destroys relationships when we are not honest and open about our feelings and being manipulative by being passive aggressive simple does not work in the end. The more we practice being honest the better we will become at it. We not longer need to be underhanded and passive but rather honest and loving. We respect others by being open about how we feel and we do not resort to games.
Where in your relationships with others are you passive aggressive? What is it that you need to say that you are holding back? Can you be honest and open and loving about sharing how you feel with other who hurt you? Why are you passive aggressive? How is that working for you? Sit down and think about the ways that you have practiced passive behavior an what you can replace it with. Know that passive aggressive behavior does not work and that in the long run it is harmful.
When someone pulls that silent treatment on you this is passive aggressive behavior. When someone holds back love or affection of any kind, that is also passive aggressive behavior. When a person is not forthright and honest about anything that is passive aggressive behavior. When someone does not do something they said they would do and continues to string you along and make excuses that is passive aggressive. Any behavior that is an indirect dig is passive aggressive and abusive. One of the definitions of passive aggressive is: any behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands or needs of others, avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastination, pouting, or misplacing important documents. A defense mechanism that allows people who aren't comfortable with being aggressive to get what they want under the guise of trying to please others. They want to others to like them.
And so it is that passive aggressive behavior and people who are passive aggressive are ones who hear what you want and expect from them but who resist complying by procrastinating or by simple not doing it. Later that same person will claim that you make them feel stressed and that this is that reason they did not pay a bill, clean the bathroom or mail a letter. People who are passive aggressive like to play the victim role once they are called out. They are passive aggressive because they don't want to take responsibility for their lack of action, they don't want to be called out and they disguise their feelings by for example talking behind your back to others instead of sharing their feelings with you. Unfortunately along with passive aggressive behavior they tend to be manipulative as well.
What is the point of knowing how to identify passive aggressive people? Well, this is an individual need but more than anything there is good reason to know the behavior so as to put a stop to it and to not allow it to fester and become something you will in the end become frustrated with. It is a behavior that is unhealthy and dishonest and one that will end relationships based on the fact that is a form of abuse. When people are passive aggressive they are also being dishonest and using others. The tendency to use others is in itself abusive. We may not identify a loved one or friend as passive aggressive yet somewhere inside of us we feel like we are being insulted or used in some way. That in itself is the sign that you are dealing with passive aggressive people and that it is time to set boundaries and to call them on their behavior.
Of course we could be the passive aggressive person in a situation. In that case we must begin an honest journey to change that in us. Passive aggressiveness is not something to be dismissed or to skirt around. It is serious and it hurts others. Saying what we really mean is much more honest and will get results while keeping it inside and then allowing it to come out indirectly is unhealthy. It destroys relationships when we are not honest and open about our feelings and being manipulative by being passive aggressive simple does not work in the end. The more we practice being honest the better we will become at it. We not longer need to be underhanded and passive but rather honest and loving. We respect others by being open about how we feel and we do not resort to games.
Where in your relationships with others are you passive aggressive? What is it that you need to say that you are holding back? Can you be honest and open and loving about sharing how you feel with other who hurt you? Why are you passive aggressive? How is that working for you? Sit down and think about the ways that you have practiced passive behavior an what you can replace it with. Know that passive aggressive behavior does not work and that in the long run it is harmful.
Comments
Post a Comment