Plural Marriage
I turned on the TV this morning and it was tuned in to "Sister Wives" which is about a man married to four women. I cannot help but to think that a few years ago we would never have seen this type of show aired on television. Who would have thought that plural relationships would be a topic and something so openly discussed. I admit that if I had been asked a few years ago about having multiple relationships of any type I would have said absolutely not. I also know that in part I was against it because I thought myself to be politically correct and that even a discussion as to this being a viable way to hold relationships was simply something I was not ready for. Dismissing it was much easier yet what I know now is that I was just afraid to say anything because somewhere inside of me I was OK with it and did not actually find it to be wrong. In fact it seemed to make sense given the divorce rate and given that fact that many people have and will have affairs. It also made sense because for some monogamy is not a natural way of life.
There are many professionals who will say that monogamy is unnatural. There are many people who feel like monogamous relationship is just not their natural inclination. No wonder there are so many couples who go outside their relationship to meet some of their sexual needs as well as emotional ones. Yet most of us will not just say we are against Poly amorous relationships we find a need to criticize it and judge it. My guess is that like me there are still people who believe they need to protect this myth that the only way to have a relationship is one on one and monogamous. I would guess that in this group are the people who say the monogamous relationship is the only choice for them are actually having an emotion or physical relationship with someone else. I personally would not be one to tell others what is right for them yet today I can see the value of Poly amorous relations and plural marriages. After all if that works for a group of people who are we to say?
At the core of this being an illegal way to live in the US is that we live in a country where the government has their hand in what should be a personal choice that should not be illegal. The fact that it is against the law to be married to more than one person is telling of the government being involved in what is truly none of their business. I believe that plural marriages should be legal and that those who feel they want to be in a situation with more than one lover or wife or husband should be able to practice what they feel comfortable with and what fulfills them as a person. Our government truly has to much say so as to how we live our lives and this is one example of how it should back off and allow us as citizens to live our personal lives in a way we deem it right for us. At the core of all the negative talk about people who are in Polyamorous relationships is judgement and fear much like racism is fears based. Our government needs to be more focused on feeding the hungry and making sure the aging get what they need rather than to be concerned about people's personal choices.
I want to share that I have not been in a Polyamorous relationship yet. What I am endeavoring to share is that I don't see anything wrong with it. I believe that this lifestyle makes sense for some people and that others can be happy outside the traditional marriage with one person. I think that everyone should do what makes them happy as long as they are not hurting anyone else. If a person feels like they are not monogomous and prefer not to be then there is an argument that they are more honest than others who pretend to be monogomous and are sneaking behind their spouses backs. When we look at our choices and we include plural relationships we are being honest and it is our right to hold relationships in a way we deem a good fit for us. That could mean that we are one of five wives or one of five husbands. In the end it is a personal choice and we should have a right to make that personal choice.
Activity:
Think about why your past relationships have not worked out. Make notes as to the reasons that things did not work out.
Imagine yourself in a marriage or live in relationship with more than one lover or spouse. What would that be like? Take the fear out of it.
If you are currently in a relationship what are some of the needs that are sometimes not met by your partner? Would a plural relationship help meet these needs? Why or why not?
What are the fears you feel about plural relationships? Why?
This activity is not in any way to promote plural relationships but rather to examine the lifestyle.
There are many professionals who will say that monogamy is unnatural. There are many people who feel like monogamous relationship is just not their natural inclination. No wonder there are so many couples who go outside their relationship to meet some of their sexual needs as well as emotional ones. Yet most of us will not just say we are against Poly amorous relationships we find a need to criticize it and judge it. My guess is that like me there are still people who believe they need to protect this myth that the only way to have a relationship is one on one and monogamous. I would guess that in this group are the people who say the monogamous relationship is the only choice for them are actually having an emotion or physical relationship with someone else. I personally would not be one to tell others what is right for them yet today I can see the value of Poly amorous relations and plural marriages. After all if that works for a group of people who are we to say?
At the core of this being an illegal way to live in the US is that we live in a country where the government has their hand in what should be a personal choice that should not be illegal. The fact that it is against the law to be married to more than one person is telling of the government being involved in what is truly none of their business. I believe that plural marriages should be legal and that those who feel they want to be in a situation with more than one lover or wife or husband should be able to practice what they feel comfortable with and what fulfills them as a person. Our government truly has to much say so as to how we live our lives and this is one example of how it should back off and allow us as citizens to live our personal lives in a way we deem it right for us. At the core of all the negative talk about people who are in Polyamorous relationships is judgement and fear much like racism is fears based. Our government needs to be more focused on feeding the hungry and making sure the aging get what they need rather than to be concerned about people's personal choices.
I want to share that I have not been in a Polyamorous relationship yet. What I am endeavoring to share is that I don't see anything wrong with it. I believe that this lifestyle makes sense for some people and that others can be happy outside the traditional marriage with one person. I think that everyone should do what makes them happy as long as they are not hurting anyone else. If a person feels like they are not monogomous and prefer not to be then there is an argument that they are more honest than others who pretend to be monogomous and are sneaking behind their spouses backs. When we look at our choices and we include plural relationships we are being honest and it is our right to hold relationships in a way we deem a good fit for us. That could mean that we are one of five wives or one of five husbands. In the end it is a personal choice and we should have a right to make that personal choice.
Activity:
Think about why your past relationships have not worked out. Make notes as to the reasons that things did not work out.
Imagine yourself in a marriage or live in relationship with more than one lover or spouse. What would that be like? Take the fear out of it.
If you are currently in a relationship what are some of the needs that are sometimes not met by your partner? Would a plural relationship help meet these needs? Why or why not?
What are the fears you feel about plural relationships? Why?
This activity is not in any way to promote plural relationships but rather to examine the lifestyle.
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