Forgive Then Move On
I was on the phone with a friend for over an hour when she asked me how she could leave the past behind her and move on. I thought about it for a moment and my response flowed out of me: "forgiveness". You have to forgive yourself and then forgive him. I recited a forgiveness statement to her that sounded like it may resonate for her: "I forgive myself for judging myself as dumb for staying in an abusive relationship". I then asked her to come up with her own self-forgiving statements and she came up with this one: "I forgive myself for believing that I was unworthy of a productive and loving relationship". I then asked her: "What is the truth?". When she could not come up with a response I responded for her with: "The truth is that I deserve to be in a loving relationship and that I am a worthy woman who has much to offer".
In this same manner I want to encourage all of you out there to go deep inside of your place of compassion and understanding with yourself and others. Go to that place where you can see that everyone is human and everyone has their faults, shortcomings and a need to be healed. At one time or another we all have to forgive that person or persons who have hurt us and then and only then will we be able to truly move forward. The way that we do this is through healing forgiving statements like the ones reviewed but more than anything we must believe that what others have done they did due mostly to survival and what they know. It is out of ignorance that we hurt others and at times we know nothing better to make ourselves feel good than to put someone else down. We learned it and now we must unlearn it.
The very first place to start in your journey to clearing the path ahead of you is to forgive your own mistakes or what you think are judgements of your self. Take the time to list the ways you are in judgement about yourself whether it is having stayed in a bad situation or working a job you hated and ended up getting fired from. You can start with a clean slate if you believe that what happened in the past can be left there and that what happened is no longer something you need or want to continue to carry around like a heavy bag of rocks. Letting go of the past judgements is the key to living a fuller life in the now. Begin with forgiveness statements like:
I forgive myself for thinking that I had to settle for less because I was not pretty enough or smart enough to get something better. The truth is that I deserve all that is out there for me to enjoy and to have.
Write at least five of these forgiveness statements and feel how healing they are. Say them out loud and then burn them in a tribal like ritual of your own. Leave the past behind you by letting go of the judgements. It is that simple.
The next thing to o is to forgive others by starting with one person. These forgiving statements should not be about shaming and blaming but of compassion and understanding. Go deep inside your heart to find the words that are not just meaningful but ones that are loving. Here is an example: "I forgive my father for abandoning me when I was a child. The truth is that he did the only thing he knew to do". In this kind of forgiving statement you apply some part of understanding that your father did not set out to hurt you but that he did not know what else to do or how to handle it. He ran because he may have been scared or overwhelmed. The truth is that he may still be in a lot of pain around this decision. By forgiving him you clear the path to move on, forgiveness is about you.
Forgiveness is a daily practice. You may find that until you believe it that you will need to convince yourself by practicing the statements until you do believe it. Nothing is more healing than forgiveness and I a mother can forgive the person who killed her son, and they have, then we can forgive those who have wronged us in less severe ways.
Write five forgiveness statements for yourself and five about others. Write truth statements that match your forgiveness statements. Here is mine:
I forgive myself for judging myself as bad for voicing my opinion to someone in a non-loving manner. The truth is that I am human and I have much to learn in life. The truth is that at the core of me I am not a mean person. Now you try it.
In this same manner I want to encourage all of you out there to go deep inside of your place of compassion and understanding with yourself and others. Go to that place where you can see that everyone is human and everyone has their faults, shortcomings and a need to be healed. At one time or another we all have to forgive that person or persons who have hurt us and then and only then will we be able to truly move forward. The way that we do this is through healing forgiving statements like the ones reviewed but more than anything we must believe that what others have done they did due mostly to survival and what they know. It is out of ignorance that we hurt others and at times we know nothing better to make ourselves feel good than to put someone else down. We learned it and now we must unlearn it.
The very first place to start in your journey to clearing the path ahead of you is to forgive your own mistakes or what you think are judgements of your self. Take the time to list the ways you are in judgement about yourself whether it is having stayed in a bad situation or working a job you hated and ended up getting fired from. You can start with a clean slate if you believe that what happened in the past can be left there and that what happened is no longer something you need or want to continue to carry around like a heavy bag of rocks. Letting go of the past judgements is the key to living a fuller life in the now. Begin with forgiveness statements like:
I forgive myself for thinking that I had to settle for less because I was not pretty enough or smart enough to get something better. The truth is that I deserve all that is out there for me to enjoy and to have.
Write at least five of these forgiveness statements and feel how healing they are. Say them out loud and then burn them in a tribal like ritual of your own. Leave the past behind you by letting go of the judgements. It is that simple.
The next thing to o is to forgive others by starting with one person. These forgiving statements should not be about shaming and blaming but of compassion and understanding. Go deep inside your heart to find the words that are not just meaningful but ones that are loving. Here is an example: "I forgive my father for abandoning me when I was a child. The truth is that he did the only thing he knew to do". In this kind of forgiving statement you apply some part of understanding that your father did not set out to hurt you but that he did not know what else to do or how to handle it. He ran because he may have been scared or overwhelmed. The truth is that he may still be in a lot of pain around this decision. By forgiving him you clear the path to move on, forgiveness is about you.
Forgiveness is a daily practice. You may find that until you believe it that you will need to convince yourself by practicing the statements until you do believe it. Nothing is more healing than forgiveness and I a mother can forgive the person who killed her son, and they have, then we can forgive those who have wronged us in less severe ways.
Write five forgiveness statements for yourself and five about others. Write truth statements that match your forgiveness statements. Here is mine:
I forgive myself for judging myself as bad for voicing my opinion to someone in a non-loving manner. The truth is that I am human and I have much to learn in life. The truth is that at the core of me I am not a mean person. Now you try it.
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