Get Out! The Signs
I think that intuitively we know when it is time to get out and move on in any relationship we may find ourselves in. Knowing this is often times not enough and many of us stay in a relationship for years before we decide to leave or we simply wait for the other person to make the deicision for us. Not getting out in time can be quite detrimental to our well being so that it is important to listen to our intuition early on. Conflicts will arise in relationships that are likely to end poorly soon after they start but we choose to ignore the signs. We think that in some miraculous way the other person will change when many times there is absolutely no chance of it happending. We have in fact found a person who is not compatible with us and the early conflicts are a sure sign that we are in the wrong situation with the wrong person. Many of us are desperate and we accept the first person who shows an interest in us, then before we know them to any extent we move in with them or they move in with us.
Charlie met Donald Frump (sorry I had to) when he was fifty. Donald was forty and seemed like a great guy who claimed his family was just about perfect and that his mom was a saint. He also stated that he loved children although he had none of his own. The very first conversation Charlie had with Donald was about three hours long. Charlie was convinced that this person was perfect for him and he allowed him to move in only four weeks into the encounter. Donald had a saying about himself that he shared with Charlie and it was: "every day with me will be an adventure". It should have been more like: "every day I control you and what you do is an adventure for me". The first five years of the relationship Donald lived with Charlie in his condo for virtually nothing. He made very little contributions until a verbal argument ended the relationship and he gave Charlie a check for a couple of thousand dollars. Charlie should have left Mr. Frump then but as luck would have it he ended up falling for the old "I still love you" line. The next five years would be much worse than the first five when Charlie bought a condo with Donald and uncovered that his family were racist bigots who took every opportunity to put him down all couched in a joke. Not only was Donald's family not what he said, his mother was a huge bitch and Frump was a mama's boy and not in a good way. Eventually it all came crashing down when Charlie became terminally ill and Donald turned out to be more of a coward than a real man. In the end Charlie knew for years that Donald was not what he said he was nor who he said he was and his family was at best polite but fake. All this to say that Charlie should have listened to his intuition and the many signs like:
1. If it sounds too good to be true it is likely not true.
2. If someone tells you something either verbally or non-verbally believe it.
3. If your intuition is manifesting that someone is wrong for you then he or she is.
4. The longer you stay in a situation you know is not good for you and with someone who does not intend to change, the more difficult it will be to end it, get out early.
5. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and behaves like one, it is likely a duck.
The early signs are those I have mentioned and if these are similar or like the ones you are experiencing then it is surely time for you to get out. The most common signs come from your intuition. The most common reasons are those you know to be true and that tell you that there is clearly something wrong. Don't ignore the signs nor the ego based behaviors of others and stay in a relationship that is eventually going to damage your heart and soul. Listen to your intuition. Look closely at the early signs that tell you that this is not what you should want or pursue. Pick yourself first and honor yourself by exiting early on, especially when you see signs of someone who is basically living off of you and is cheap and does not contribute to your household. When you meet someone take the time to look at how his or her family of origin behave and the things they believe in and know that the person you are with may be hiding those same characteristics and are likely more like them than you can imagine. Find yourself, vote for yourself and end it before it ends up diminishing you. Settling for the first person who gives us attention is a message about what we think of ourselves, NOT much.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
Charlie met Donald Frump (sorry I had to) when he was fifty. Donald was forty and seemed like a great guy who claimed his family was just about perfect and that his mom was a saint. He also stated that he loved children although he had none of his own. The very first conversation Charlie had with Donald was about three hours long. Charlie was convinced that this person was perfect for him and he allowed him to move in only four weeks into the encounter. Donald had a saying about himself that he shared with Charlie and it was: "every day with me will be an adventure". It should have been more like: "every day I control you and what you do is an adventure for me". The first five years of the relationship Donald lived with Charlie in his condo for virtually nothing. He made very little contributions until a verbal argument ended the relationship and he gave Charlie a check for a couple of thousand dollars. Charlie should have left Mr. Frump then but as luck would have it he ended up falling for the old "I still love you" line. The next five years would be much worse than the first five when Charlie bought a condo with Donald and uncovered that his family were racist bigots who took every opportunity to put him down all couched in a joke. Not only was Donald's family not what he said, his mother was a huge bitch and Frump was a mama's boy and not in a good way. Eventually it all came crashing down when Charlie became terminally ill and Donald turned out to be more of a coward than a real man. In the end Charlie knew for years that Donald was not what he said he was nor who he said he was and his family was at best polite but fake. All this to say that Charlie should have listened to his intuition and the many signs like:
1. If it sounds too good to be true it is likely not true.
2. If someone tells you something either verbally or non-verbally believe it.
3. If your intuition is manifesting that someone is wrong for you then he or she is.
4. The longer you stay in a situation you know is not good for you and with someone who does not intend to change, the more difficult it will be to end it, get out early.
5. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and behaves like one, it is likely a duck.
The early signs are those I have mentioned and if these are similar or like the ones you are experiencing then it is surely time for you to get out. The most common signs come from your intuition. The most common reasons are those you know to be true and that tell you that there is clearly something wrong. Don't ignore the signs nor the ego based behaviors of others and stay in a relationship that is eventually going to damage your heart and soul. Listen to your intuition. Look closely at the early signs that tell you that this is not what you should want or pursue. Pick yourself first and honor yourself by exiting early on, especially when you see signs of someone who is basically living off of you and is cheap and does not contribute to your household. When you meet someone take the time to look at how his or her family of origin behave and the things they believe in and know that the person you are with may be hiding those same characteristics and are likely more like them than you can imagine. Find yourself, vote for yourself and end it before it ends up diminishing you. Settling for the first person who gives us attention is a message about what we think of ourselves, NOT much.
Elliott Maximo Collazo
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