Open Your Heart Someday

"My heart wants to open up but I am in too much pain".

This self-quote is one that I ended up on my mind as I listened to a love song, "Roses and Violets" by Alexander.  I am sitting in my kitchen overlooking a lake that is ice, the rest full of  beautiful white snow.  It is breathless to be surrounded by the best that nature offers: the blue and white sky, the tree branches accented with white, and birds flying by.  It is a bit like being outside when one can see all the regal beauty outside your windows.  As I sit here alone I cannot help but to wonder if I will ever be in love again or if what I must embrace is a full and productive, happy life alone.

As long as we are in pain it is impossible for us to fall in love.  The pain we feel blocks any person out there from connecting with us or as I say "the universe rejects it".  Until we love ourselves out of the darkness and pain we will forever be stuck in the first phase: self-love.  Going outside our normal comfort zone means that we must feel comfortable within our self, our own body and our own thoughts.  Our cause in life must become loving every aspect of who we are and healing from our past.  Only then can we be ready for love.

My heart wants to open up because I know that when I open my heart healing takes place.  I want to open my heart but I know that the reason that love is not coming to me is truly about my own personal pain.  I am being tested at every turn and more recently with the death of my former wife and good friend.  My heart does want to open up and I also know that I must heal from this pain.  Like many of you, holding on to the pain is even more painful, injuring our spirit, the most delicate part of us.

My intention for all of you who are reading this is that your pain becomes your teacher.  That you take your pain and you turn it into action, doing something that will heal us.  My intention is that each of you see that your heart and the way it feels is telling of your experiences.  I want to say that I for one am in deep gratitude for knowing this.

Elliott Maximo Collazo

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