Will You Love Again?
When we have been hurt in love we might think that we won't ever love again. We naturally don't want to get hurt again because the last time we loved we were hurt by it and it may have ended poorly. Love relationships often end and statistics will support this. People get together, live together and even get married and we don't think about it ending, but the fact is that it does end in at least fifty percent of the cases. I have often asked myself whether I will love again or even be in another committed relationship. Thus far I am not in a relationship and have not been for two years, but what I know is that I must be happy no matter what, whether in a relationship or not.
Every day that one spends single and outside a relationship is an opportunity to discover and create what makes us happy. Being alone gives us the chance to love the most important person in our lives, ourselves. When we are single we get to know ourselves in a deeper sense and we get to do the things we want and need at any time, not altered by another person in our life. It is the best time to become more effective, more self-sufficient and more able to live a life of joy with no excuses and no one to blame when we are unhappy. This is the time to let go of the notion that we might not love again and becoming more centered on caring for ourselves and growing as a person. It really does not matter whether we will love again if there are things within us that need attention and healing. By becoming more focused on our self work and our own transformation we become more ready for love if that is what is destined for us. It will unfold organically and naturally without forcing it.
When we begin a relationship we often times become more concerned about the other person than ourselves. When we do this we repeat a pattern that many people repeat which is that love means we are more committed to someone else than we are to the person we are. It is better to be in a relationship where we dole out our time and energy making sure to take some for our highest good and do things separate from the person we are involved with. We have to keep our own identity while being in a relationship with someone else because if we don't when and if it ends we will feel lost. If we are focused on ourselves during the entire time we are in a relationship if it ends we will find it more natural to be alone and continue to do some of the things we were already doing. Have your own interests, your time with your friends and all of that makes you happy and alive. If you are meant to love again you will but if not you will already be accustomed to doing wonderful things for your self and on your own.
I believe that I will never love again in the same way. I understand that the way that I loved was not healthy and in fact was very unhealthy for me. I put all my energy into the other person and made their time and their life and their person more important then my own. I became so resentful that I decided to sleep alone just to get away from the person I was in a relationship with who seemed to drain me of every once of energy I had and took all I had to give. I felt such resentment at times that I wished I had the courage to leave him, yet I stayed. This relaitonship taught me that one should never place so much energy into another person over their own being. It was for me the most defining reason why I will not love in the same way ever again. I lived through this relationship to my own surprise but it took a dark situation for it to end. When it finally did I understood that my life will never be the same and that I won't ever sacrifice that much in the name of love, falsely believing that if I did someone would love me forever.
The question here is not whether you will love again but whether you have learned from loving and what you learned so that you don't go into another relationship with the same thinking that will result in the same ending. We will love again if that is what is meant to happen. We will love again if we are open hearted and ready to receive. If not then the person who we need to love the most is the one inside of us, the little boy or girl who yearns for love. Your very own inner child.
Every day that one spends single and outside a relationship is an opportunity to discover and create what makes us happy. Being alone gives us the chance to love the most important person in our lives, ourselves. When we are single we get to know ourselves in a deeper sense and we get to do the things we want and need at any time, not altered by another person in our life. It is the best time to become more effective, more self-sufficient and more able to live a life of joy with no excuses and no one to blame when we are unhappy. This is the time to let go of the notion that we might not love again and becoming more centered on caring for ourselves and growing as a person. It really does not matter whether we will love again if there are things within us that need attention and healing. By becoming more focused on our self work and our own transformation we become more ready for love if that is what is destined for us. It will unfold organically and naturally without forcing it.
When we begin a relationship we often times become more concerned about the other person than ourselves. When we do this we repeat a pattern that many people repeat which is that love means we are more committed to someone else than we are to the person we are. It is better to be in a relationship where we dole out our time and energy making sure to take some for our highest good and do things separate from the person we are involved with. We have to keep our own identity while being in a relationship with someone else because if we don't when and if it ends we will feel lost. If we are focused on ourselves during the entire time we are in a relationship if it ends we will find it more natural to be alone and continue to do some of the things we were already doing. Have your own interests, your time with your friends and all of that makes you happy and alive. If you are meant to love again you will but if not you will already be accustomed to doing wonderful things for your self and on your own.
I believe that I will never love again in the same way. I understand that the way that I loved was not healthy and in fact was very unhealthy for me. I put all my energy into the other person and made their time and their life and their person more important then my own. I became so resentful that I decided to sleep alone just to get away from the person I was in a relationship with who seemed to drain me of every once of energy I had and took all I had to give. I felt such resentment at times that I wished I had the courage to leave him, yet I stayed. This relaitonship taught me that one should never place so much energy into another person over their own being. It was for me the most defining reason why I will not love in the same way ever again. I lived through this relationship to my own surprise but it took a dark situation for it to end. When it finally did I understood that my life will never be the same and that I won't ever sacrifice that much in the name of love, falsely believing that if I did someone would love me forever.
The question here is not whether you will love again but whether you have learned from loving and what you learned so that you don't go into another relationship with the same thinking that will result in the same ending. We will love again if that is what is meant to happen. We will love again if we are open hearted and ready to receive. If not then the person who we need to love the most is the one inside of us, the little boy or girl who yearns for love. Your very own inner child.
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