4 Ways Figure Someone Out Early On
I wish there were a magical way to figure out who a person really is. In a world where there is so much deciption and lies we must trust that we can figure people out before we get too involved. There may not be one good way to figure out who a person is, especially when they are so good at hiding it and telling stories. People often times convince themselves that they are nice. I recall a co-worker telling me how nice she was. Before I could even think about it my response was: "If you were nice you would not need to tell me that". Later I realized that my words were profound. I had said something that turned out to be true every single time I met a person who told me something like what she said about being a nice person. I also realized that it is not enough to appear to be a nice person or be a polite person who was in reality a bully or not such a nice person. From manipulative people all the way to people who will take the silverware from a hotel there are many kinds of human beings who profess to be good while doing things that are not. Here are some ways to take caution early in a relationship with any person:
1. Don't ignore the signs.
2. Believe who people say they are.
3. Get them around your family and friends early on.
4. Go slowly even if you fall fast.
The very first and most practical thing to do is to not ignore the early signs. There are often times early signs that we do ignore and hope will not be true when in reality those first signs are the ones we should pause to examine and look into. Those signs are usually intuitive signs and are ones many of us will feel in the beginning of a relationship. It is the thought of "gee this person seems insecure or self-loathing" and we ignore it. We are so desperate to be with someone and not to be alone and what we feel is loneliness that we will accept a person we sense is not for us. Our sixth sense is the one that is operating all the time and we should take care to listen to it.
People will tell on themselves if we ask questions and wait long enough. We are able to read between the lines when people talk about their family members as if they were either saints or demons. Either way these extremes are a sign that there is something amist, something to be concerned about. Many time a person will put themselves down and this is a clear sign that they are unhappy people who will make you unhappy to be around them. At times they will tell you all kinds of wonderful things about yourself and then ask you what you see in them. Thsi is a sign of insecurity. People will tell you who they are if you wait long enough and it won't be too long before they tell on themselves. The trick is to listen carefully.
When you start dating someone after a couple of months get them around your family. If your family is questioning why you are around this person it is reason to take pause. The same thing with your friends. Ask your friends to tell you the truth when they meet this person you are seeing. Your friends are even less likely to be bias and more apt to see the truth about the person you are seeing. It is a known fact that others can see what we sometimes miss about a person we are stary eyed about. Listen to what your family and epecially your friends tell you. They are the best measure of what a person you are with should be like or not be like. They will tell you the truth.
Take it slow even if you are feeling like you could go faster. When you are tempted to go faster slow down purposely. Don't be in a rush. Take the time to get to know the person. A year is likely the lest amount of time and two may be better. Often times the true person will begin to unfold in the first year and if that person is not someone you like, are interested in what they say or are thoughtful run in the other direction. People don't suddenly become compassionate and loving. If there are signs of the contrary then it is best to stop being involved before you end up in the relationship for five or ten years. The longer you wait the better. The trouble with most relationships is that they went to fast and did not get to know each other. Get to know the person much before you begin to live with the person and long before you commit to the relationship.
These four signs will help you to make the right decision early on in a relationship. They will help you to determine whether this person is a person you want to continue to be with or one you may like to pass over and move away from. By ignoring the early signs or no being observant enough you can make your life a little harder. Take your time and keep these four hints in the forefront of your mind.
1. Don't ignore the signs.
2. Believe who people say they are.
3. Get them around your family and friends early on.
4. Go slowly even if you fall fast.
The very first and most practical thing to do is to not ignore the early signs. There are often times early signs that we do ignore and hope will not be true when in reality those first signs are the ones we should pause to examine and look into. Those signs are usually intuitive signs and are ones many of us will feel in the beginning of a relationship. It is the thought of "gee this person seems insecure or self-loathing" and we ignore it. We are so desperate to be with someone and not to be alone and what we feel is loneliness that we will accept a person we sense is not for us. Our sixth sense is the one that is operating all the time and we should take care to listen to it.
People will tell on themselves if we ask questions and wait long enough. We are able to read between the lines when people talk about their family members as if they were either saints or demons. Either way these extremes are a sign that there is something amist, something to be concerned about. Many time a person will put themselves down and this is a clear sign that they are unhappy people who will make you unhappy to be around them. At times they will tell you all kinds of wonderful things about yourself and then ask you what you see in them. Thsi is a sign of insecurity. People will tell you who they are if you wait long enough and it won't be too long before they tell on themselves. The trick is to listen carefully.
When you start dating someone after a couple of months get them around your family. If your family is questioning why you are around this person it is reason to take pause. The same thing with your friends. Ask your friends to tell you the truth when they meet this person you are seeing. Your friends are even less likely to be bias and more apt to see the truth about the person you are seeing. It is a known fact that others can see what we sometimes miss about a person we are stary eyed about. Listen to what your family and epecially your friends tell you. They are the best measure of what a person you are with should be like or not be like. They will tell you the truth.
Take it slow even if you are feeling like you could go faster. When you are tempted to go faster slow down purposely. Don't be in a rush. Take the time to get to know the person. A year is likely the lest amount of time and two may be better. Often times the true person will begin to unfold in the first year and if that person is not someone you like, are interested in what they say or are thoughtful run in the other direction. People don't suddenly become compassionate and loving. If there are signs of the contrary then it is best to stop being involved before you end up in the relationship for five or ten years. The longer you wait the better. The trouble with most relationships is that they went to fast and did not get to know each other. Get to know the person much before you begin to live with the person and long before you commit to the relationship.
These four signs will help you to make the right decision early on in a relationship. They will help you to determine whether this person is a person you want to continue to be with or one you may like to pass over and move away from. By ignoring the early signs or no being observant enough you can make your life a little harder. Take your time and keep these four hints in the forefront of your mind.
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