Is Your Partner Really Loving?
I have thought about my own life and partners throughout my life. I would perhaps be considered one of those who had too many partners. Some were addicted to alcohol, some to marijuana, some to cocaine while others were racist, homophobic and in the closet and one, a woman was a loving and kind person although we were married much too young. In each relationship I experienced a different personality and a different belief system. In one case almost everything was based on lies. Is this really love? I would say not.
Compromise:
One of the most important characteristics of a loving partner is his or her willingness to compromise. This can involve our partner doing things with us that we like to do even if he or she does not love it as much as we do. A person who loves us compromises and will do things for us just because we ask for it knowing that if they would like us to compromise they must do the same.
Serving:
Another way that a person truly loves us is by serving us. This could be in the form of filling a tub, washing our clothes or massaging our back. A truly equal relationship serves both parties equally. If one has the expectation of having their back scrubbed he or she must be willing to do the same. Serving someone a plate of food or bringing them their slippers is not a lowly task but rather an act of love.
Respect:
A good partner who loves you respects you. They will not insult you or use profanity towards you or in a dialog with you. Respecting our partner means never crossing their boundaries and their right to privacy. It means we are not looking for ways to degrade them but rather ways to lift them and show them how much we respect them. Our actions are respectful and our words are kind. Respecting our partner is a sign of love, true love. Nothing shows love more than respect.
Competition:
In a loving relationship there is zero room for competition. We are not ever compelled to compete with the person we love but rather are collaborative with our spouse. There are many couples who are in constant competition because they learned it and in their family they competed for things like attention or the most accolades. Competition does not have a place in a relationship what is completely loving and can only harm it.
Spontaneous Acts:
A person who loves another does spontaneous nice things for the other person. They may write a poem or give their spouse a card outside a birthday or holiday. They are the ones who come home with a dozen flowers. They surprise their wife or husband by taking them out on a date. Spontaneous acts show that you love someone and that you are loved.
Change Habits and Do Self Work:
Someone who loves you will realize when they need to change and do the work it takes to change. Whether it is a bad habit or an addiction someone who loves you is willing to make the changes necessary to maintaining a good relationship that is not just loving but caring as well. WE all have habits that we know we have carried for years and practiced over and over with bad results. Those habits are brought to our relationships and our partners are the first to share them with us. When they do if we love them we will work to make a change for the better, a change that will create more love.
Compassion:
Someone who loves you has compassion for you, especially in the time of need.
Loyalty:
Someone who loves you will stick by you no matter what happens and even if they don't agree with you. They will not embarrass you by having a stand off with you in public but rather they are loyal enough to wait to speak to you in private. Still no matter what within normalcy they will remain loyal to you publicly and privately. They will support your ideas and they will support your feelings. A partner who loves you is loyal.
Compromise:
One of the most important characteristics of a loving partner is his or her willingness to compromise. This can involve our partner doing things with us that we like to do even if he or she does not love it as much as we do. A person who loves us compromises and will do things for us just because we ask for it knowing that if they would like us to compromise they must do the same.
Serving:
Another way that a person truly loves us is by serving us. This could be in the form of filling a tub, washing our clothes or massaging our back. A truly equal relationship serves both parties equally. If one has the expectation of having their back scrubbed he or she must be willing to do the same. Serving someone a plate of food or bringing them their slippers is not a lowly task but rather an act of love.
Respect:
A good partner who loves you respects you. They will not insult you or use profanity towards you or in a dialog with you. Respecting our partner means never crossing their boundaries and their right to privacy. It means we are not looking for ways to degrade them but rather ways to lift them and show them how much we respect them. Our actions are respectful and our words are kind. Respecting our partner is a sign of love, true love. Nothing shows love more than respect.
Competition:
In a loving relationship there is zero room for competition. We are not ever compelled to compete with the person we love but rather are collaborative with our spouse. There are many couples who are in constant competition because they learned it and in their family they competed for things like attention or the most accolades. Competition does not have a place in a relationship what is completely loving and can only harm it.
Spontaneous Acts:
A person who loves another does spontaneous nice things for the other person. They may write a poem or give their spouse a card outside a birthday or holiday. They are the ones who come home with a dozen flowers. They surprise their wife or husband by taking them out on a date. Spontaneous acts show that you love someone and that you are loved.
Change Habits and Do Self Work:
Someone who loves you will realize when they need to change and do the work it takes to change. Whether it is a bad habit or an addiction someone who loves you is willing to make the changes necessary to maintaining a good relationship that is not just loving but caring as well. WE all have habits that we know we have carried for years and practiced over and over with bad results. Those habits are brought to our relationships and our partners are the first to share them with us. When they do if we love them we will work to make a change for the better, a change that will create more love.
Compassion:
Someone who loves you has compassion for you, especially in the time of need.
Loyalty:
Someone who loves you will stick by you no matter what happens and even if they don't agree with you. They will not embarrass you by having a stand off with you in public but rather they are loyal enough to wait to speak to you in private. Still no matter what within normalcy they will remain loyal to you publicly and privately. They will support your ideas and they will support your feelings. A partner who loves you is loyal.
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