How to Get and Keep a Man
I watch the Steve Harvey show and what I see is that most of his audience is women. Why? My guess is that he is a man who respects and loves women and they know it. They come to his shows trusting that as a man he not only respects them but he will tell them the truth. Today he had a woman go on a date with six men. All six men felt belittled by her and all felt like she was not just independent she was a bit arrogant. She made sure to let each of the men know "I don't need a man". This turned each of them off. I would guess even more so because they were all men of color but that any man would get turned off by this arrogance. I personally was very attracted to my former wife who I am friends with because she was more demure and feminine. She did not have to say "I don't need a man" because she knew that not needing a man had nothing to do with love. I also felt like I needed a woman and what she brought to my life. I could see the yang being completed even though I was not dependent on her but at the same time I did not need to say that. Even today I realize I don't need someone but would like to have a companion and friend to be with, travel with and enjoy each other. It has nothing to do with sex. It has everything to do with love and companionship.
According to Steve a man needs to feel like he is needed. There is something about men that has a need to know that the woman we are with needs us. Maybe in part that could be reframed into a woman wants us. There are things we provide to women that are meaningful. Love seems to be important to women where as for men needing and loving goes together. If they start to feel like a woman does not need them for anything they feel lost or dismissed. That feeling could be tuned in to men because of the way we are raised to protect women. I should clarify and say those of us who were raised to respect women. The other day I was walking with a female friend of mine and realized she was on the outer part of the sidewalk so I asked her to switch sides with me. She knew what it meant. If a car comes by and splashes the puddles I will get hit instead of her. If a car gets to close to the curb I will be startled and not her. A gentleman protects a woman, opens the door and allows her to go in before him. What is interesting to me about the people who don't agree with me is that they don't realize how much they benefit from allowing the women to walk in front of them as they enter a restaurant. What I experienced was that the woman in front of me was able to get us what we needed, like a better table or faster service. Men don't know this but I would ask them to try this theory out and see it for themselves.
I love women. I respect most women with the exception of one who disrespected me and wished me ill and wrote me a horrid letter that was not deemed. I love the feminine energy. I adore my daughters because of the goddess ways. They are compassionate and loving human beings yet very strong willed and honest. I love that about women in my life. One such friend let me know that I did not want to hear the truth and that I was denying the truth about us as friends. At first I wanted to defend myself and I think I did. But after some thought and knowing she loved me I realized she was right about me. My pride got in my way at first but once I got it out of the way I was able to hear her. This is what many men don't see even though it makes perfect sense that they want to be needed it does not make sense that they will not admit their shortcomings. That is another subject yet related to this ego based thinking because at times we can be very arrogant about women needing us rather than to keep it as a love offering without the ego involved.
For every man out there I would share this. Be a protector but also respect what a woman wants and does not want. Be loving but don't hold her too tightly. Be a spouse but remember you don't own her. Show her love by your actions not your words. For every woman I will share this. Be a spouse not a boss. If you make more money than your husband be humble about it and don't throw it at him. If you want something ask for it and if you don't let him know that as well. Stand up for yourself but don't be arrogant about it. Live in your happiness and not your ego. If you want to be with a man, allow him to be one. Don't take away his masculinity by saying things like "I don't need you or any man" as many women have done. It is hurtful and if he does not know you he won't want to get to know you. The same would be if he told you: "I don't need a woman".
So how do you get a man? Be who you are and allow him to be a man. Accept his protective loving side and his need to be needed. Show him he is appreciated for what he brings to the table. Share your honest feelings with him and ask for what you want from him. Don't take his loving gestures wrongly and interpret them as him thinking you need him in a negative manner. Be a woman and allow your goddess energy to come forth. Love men for who they are.
According to Steve a man needs to feel like he is needed. There is something about men that has a need to know that the woman we are with needs us. Maybe in part that could be reframed into a woman wants us. There are things we provide to women that are meaningful. Love seems to be important to women where as for men needing and loving goes together. If they start to feel like a woman does not need them for anything they feel lost or dismissed. That feeling could be tuned in to men because of the way we are raised to protect women. I should clarify and say those of us who were raised to respect women. The other day I was walking with a female friend of mine and realized she was on the outer part of the sidewalk so I asked her to switch sides with me. She knew what it meant. If a car comes by and splashes the puddles I will get hit instead of her. If a car gets to close to the curb I will be startled and not her. A gentleman protects a woman, opens the door and allows her to go in before him. What is interesting to me about the people who don't agree with me is that they don't realize how much they benefit from allowing the women to walk in front of them as they enter a restaurant. What I experienced was that the woman in front of me was able to get us what we needed, like a better table or faster service. Men don't know this but I would ask them to try this theory out and see it for themselves.
I love women. I respect most women with the exception of one who disrespected me and wished me ill and wrote me a horrid letter that was not deemed. I love the feminine energy. I adore my daughters because of the goddess ways. They are compassionate and loving human beings yet very strong willed and honest. I love that about women in my life. One such friend let me know that I did not want to hear the truth and that I was denying the truth about us as friends. At first I wanted to defend myself and I think I did. But after some thought and knowing she loved me I realized she was right about me. My pride got in my way at first but once I got it out of the way I was able to hear her. This is what many men don't see even though it makes perfect sense that they want to be needed it does not make sense that they will not admit their shortcomings. That is another subject yet related to this ego based thinking because at times we can be very arrogant about women needing us rather than to keep it as a love offering without the ego involved.
For every man out there I would share this. Be a protector but also respect what a woman wants and does not want. Be loving but don't hold her too tightly. Be a spouse but remember you don't own her. Show her love by your actions not your words. For every woman I will share this. Be a spouse not a boss. If you make more money than your husband be humble about it and don't throw it at him. If you want something ask for it and if you don't let him know that as well. Stand up for yourself but don't be arrogant about it. Live in your happiness and not your ego. If you want to be with a man, allow him to be one. Don't take away his masculinity by saying things like "I don't need you or any man" as many women have done. It is hurtful and if he does not know you he won't want to get to know you. The same would be if he told you: "I don't need a woman".
So how do you get a man? Be who you are and allow him to be a man. Accept his protective loving side and his need to be needed. Show him he is appreciated for what he brings to the table. Share your honest feelings with him and ask for what you want from him. Don't take his loving gestures wrongly and interpret them as him thinking you need him in a negative manner. Be a woman and allow your goddess energy to come forth. Love men for who they are.
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