A Movie For Me!
It would be that I selected a movie on Netflix about a woman dying of cancer with a gay son named Elliott and a gay housekeeper who, of course, falls for him. Then there is a daughter who is alof and trying her hardest to reconnect with her mom. In the movie the mother admits being a bad mom who did not do a good job with her children. The son Elliott and his sister come home to their mom afer the housekeeper calls them to say that she is not doing well. To add some interest the mother is smoking pot and offfering it to her kids and the housekeeper who has apparently been smoking it with her. As luck would have it Elliott falls for the handsome young housekeeper and the sister gets upset about it sighting how inappropriate it is. At one point the mother brings up the fact that the daughter sings and she sings a beautiful song at the dinner table. The mother becomes so emotional she cries and thanks her for singing for her. Part of the interaction of the mother with her children has a lot to do with daring them to get outside the box and do the things they love to do and what would make them happy. She is working feverishly to connect with her kids now that she is dying. Without seeing the end of this movie I am already sure that I selected it for a good reason, or more accurately it was selected for me.
I am not sure why I am seeing this movie. At every turn the kids in the story make decisions that they may not have made othewise, given the situation with their mom. The daughter wants the mom to move in with her. The son wants to quit the family business. The housekeeper is unsure of what to do or say. At every moment each person becomes more intimate with each other. The son and the mom. The mom and the daughter. The housekeeper and Elliott. As the movie runs I get the meaning more and more and how it so much relates to me and my children. What I want for myself and what they want for me. My new relaitonship with my mother. My health opportunity and how I deal with it. My life and what to do with it.
In the movie finally the housekeeper intervenes and tells the siblings that the mother has asked him to stay so that she would not have to be alone with them. It becomes a sitaution of everyone being at odds with one another and then suddenly realizing that the important person in the situation is the one dying, the mom. I wonder what it will be like when I am dying and how my children will feel at that time? I wonder what it will be like to be in that place of knowing and that time when it is all very close. I hate to even think about it that much and yet watching this movie brings it home to me. I wish so badly that there be less pain and that my kids don't suffer. I want that time to be beautiful and connected and honest. I want that moment to be right and for my daughters to sing to me.
This movie could very well be about me and my life. It could be the prefix of what is going to happen to me. What my children will go through. Maybe this is why I needed to see this so that I could feel my feelings and not fear that time. I thought I knew what it would be like but even now I don't. I am uncertain as to whether I want to know. Maybe it is best not to.
At the end of the movie the mom and daughter are sleeping in the same bed. She gets up and her mom is not in the bed. Both her and Elliott scramble to find her. Elliott screams for her and they finally find her dead among her orchids that she cherished (my favorite too) so much. Apparently she'd awoken and got to the greenhouse where she died.
This is a movie about love and it is not unlike my own story. As the end comes near I see how painful it will be for my children when I die, when it is my time. I hope that they will get through it and know that they will. The faith in them will bring them back to their center and their life dreams. They will use my life to propell them and to raise them above the pain. I know it, even if they sob and sob for me they will rejoice in my resurrection.
At the end the daughter picks up a card made by her mother that simply says "sing" and as some know my daughter sings as well. Like her mom I feel like I would love to see my daughter sing if that is her calling and her dream. I like the mother in the movie want this for her. Parents are like that. As I get to the end of this movie my tears streaming down my face I know for sure that this was the movie for me and that I was to see it so that I could feel my own pain and my own sorrow, perhaps my fears. I am so grateful to spirit for bringing this movie to me and for moving me to this level of emotion. I thank God for the ability to feel the feelings. I thank god for the tears, the joy and the pain.
I am not sure why I am seeing this movie. At every turn the kids in the story make decisions that they may not have made othewise, given the situation with their mom. The daughter wants the mom to move in with her. The son wants to quit the family business. The housekeeper is unsure of what to do or say. At every moment each person becomes more intimate with each other. The son and the mom. The mom and the daughter. The housekeeper and Elliott. As the movie runs I get the meaning more and more and how it so much relates to me and my children. What I want for myself and what they want for me. My new relaitonship with my mother. My health opportunity and how I deal with it. My life and what to do with it.
In the movie finally the housekeeper intervenes and tells the siblings that the mother has asked him to stay so that she would not have to be alone with them. It becomes a sitaution of everyone being at odds with one another and then suddenly realizing that the important person in the situation is the one dying, the mom. I wonder what it will be like when I am dying and how my children will feel at that time? I wonder what it will be like to be in that place of knowing and that time when it is all very close. I hate to even think about it that much and yet watching this movie brings it home to me. I wish so badly that there be less pain and that my kids don't suffer. I want that time to be beautiful and connected and honest. I want that moment to be right and for my daughters to sing to me.
This movie could very well be about me and my life. It could be the prefix of what is going to happen to me. What my children will go through. Maybe this is why I needed to see this so that I could feel my feelings and not fear that time. I thought I knew what it would be like but even now I don't. I am uncertain as to whether I want to know. Maybe it is best not to.
At the end of the movie the mom and daughter are sleeping in the same bed. She gets up and her mom is not in the bed. Both her and Elliott scramble to find her. Elliott screams for her and they finally find her dead among her orchids that she cherished (my favorite too) so much. Apparently she'd awoken and got to the greenhouse where she died.
This is a movie about love and it is not unlike my own story. As the end comes near I see how painful it will be for my children when I die, when it is my time. I hope that they will get through it and know that they will. The faith in them will bring them back to their center and their life dreams. They will use my life to propell them and to raise them above the pain. I know it, even if they sob and sob for me they will rejoice in my resurrection.
At the end the daughter picks up a card made by her mother that simply says "sing" and as some know my daughter sings as well. Like her mom I feel like I would love to see my daughter sing if that is her calling and her dream. I like the mother in the movie want this for her. Parents are like that. As I get to the end of this movie my tears streaming down my face I know for sure that this was the movie for me and that I was to see it so that I could feel my own pain and my own sorrow, perhaps my fears. I am so grateful to spirit for bringing this movie to me and for moving me to this level of emotion. I thank God for the ability to feel the feelings. I thank god for the tears, the joy and the pain.
Beautiful.
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