Finding Love Once More

I have been thinking about what it might be like to be in love.  It has been so long since I was "in love" with someone and someone in love with me.  It is a lofty goal considering that I am sixty but since I am Latino and look younger than I am, especially when I dye my hair, I feel like I still have a chance.  I feel like I could be in love once more with someone who could really see me and value the gifts I bring to the relationship, the connection.

In my family we talk about the Collazo Charm.  It is this ability to be charming and to charm others.  I feel like we must have inherited it from my grandmother or maybe my grandpa, perhaps my mom or my dad.  My sister calls it a cache and I call it an ability to attract people to us merely because we are who we are, speak the way we do and enjoy life like there is no tomorrow.  We are very charming and the more I think of it the more I understand this charm as a gift.  Using it means that we must be kind and loving but unfortunately not all people take it that way.  There are those who see our charm as a threat but none of us are willing to alter our inner soulfulness, our charming ways.

I know that I can find love one more time if I decide that this is what I want but it is not what I want.  I want to be in love but more than that I want someone to be in love with me.  Someone to take one look at me and want nothing more than to hold my hand and be with me.  I would lke my charm to attract a person with substance and conviction for life and every single thing he or she represents and believes in.  A person with the balls to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done.  A person who will defend my honor and never allow anyone to insult me or hurt me.  A person who has a plan and sticks to it.  A person who will be so in love with me that nothing else matters and that I can give me heart to completely.

I thought I would by now not believe in love but the reality is that I do more now than ever and I am in less fear than ever because I know exactly what I want and don't want.  I did the time and I did the trials and I smoked the peace pipe and now I know what I don't want.  I think that is the most imporant thing in life is knowing what you do not want.  I now know exactly without any doubt what I don't want and I also know exactly what I want.  IN summation, a person with conviction.
Love elliott collazo gonzalez

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