Self Loving is Overated

I have been thinking a lot about this subject of self love.  Is it over rated?  Is overated a compound word?  We are being bombarded with this idea that we must be sefl loving to the degree now where I wonder if anyone is capable of loving someone else, other than themselves.  I don't think that we are having any issues loving ourselves.  I think the issue has become that we don't know how to love.  We are so busy acting like we love ourselves or telling others about how much we love me that we have given up loving someone fully and with respect and honor.

We say we are in love when in reality we are conveniently loving someone for every reason we cannot imagine.  We actually don't know half the time why we are still with the person we profess to love.  Then when one freaking thing goes wrong we suddenly stop loving that person.  Then we go back to "loving ourselves more".  Even I am guilty of this false pretense and I am the  person to first pursuade of how silly this self loving shit really means.  It means we are so angry about love that we want everyone else to think that the reason we are so angry is because we lacked self love and even if that were true we would not still be so upset about the entire incident.  This is why when people get divorced, like me, they do everything possible to convince others that they never loved that were not "in love" with that person.  Obviously not.  But what does self love have to do with anything?  It does not, not a fucking thing.

Self love is so overated.  Oh yes, that is a compound word right?  I have redeemed myself because in this entire malure of shit I found out that loving myself really has nothing to do with anything, In a way.  I say in a way because I have no idea what love means anymore.  Nor do I know what self loving is.  What I know is that self love has nothing to do with loving and that I would like to meet someone who is not a "nice guy" or who appears to be a nice person.  All I know is that I don't neccessarity need to love anyone but rather be with someone I can respect and who is interesting and does not just eat white fucking bread and who does not just drink coke because it's the "real thing".  I would love to meet the tansvestite who lived the "Leave it to Beaver" life who never ever thought therapy was an option but rather a gift to others.

None of us needs to be in love with ourselves.  Really that doesn't need to be the focus.  In fact that is the main focus of most of the people we will meet.  It is really code for selfishness.  In reading more and more about prayer I have uncovered that when I pray for someone else I have prayed for myself.  When I am willing to give of myself I receive the gifts I need.  I no longer care if I manifest money or fame.  I care more about whether I am capable of seeing love when it comes to me the next time around.  I am more concerned about loving my sister who has cancer and my other sister who is fighting the big fight and then I can see my own needs and my own shit and my own stuff.

Self love is overated.  Yes my dear friends it is overated.  Yes it is a compound word and if not I declare it to be.  I have met plenty of men and women who love themselves a lot.  I even met the ones who love themselves too much.  So much that they cannot get their head out of their ass to see what is outside their box and in front of their face because jumping out of the box is simply not in their scope of doing or being.  I get the self loving stuff now.  I get it and I get that this is not going to be my main focus.  MY main focus will be how much love I can spread around.  My focus will be on tending to the herds and the hearth and knowing deep inside that I gave more than I got and that this is way OK with me.  And it is way OK with God.

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