"Alice" Woody Allen, Part 2

So many of us have had our moments in our relaitonship where we question why we are in it.  In "Alice" she is torn because she feels guilty about wanting more, yet we all see this character as deserving more in the same way that some of us deserve more.  It doesn't mean we have to have an affair but it does sometimes mean that we need to have more of our own life.  I would not suggest to any woman that she have an affair but the truth is that like men they have a right to have what they need from life.

The character in this movie who is Alice yearns for a dream of her own.  She is shy and reserved and wants to have a fantasy of her own.  She wants to feel at liberty to feel her feelings and yet she fights it repeatedly.  She is not unlike other women looking for something more but unable to act on it.  the morals and the things they were made to believe would not allow them to go there.  Eventually Alice has a fantasy of being with this man who is a parent of another child in her kid's school.  She ends up inside a confessional like the ones in the Catholic churches confessing her sins which are based primarily on what she yearns for, another man, another life.  Then the next day that she goes to pick her kid up at school the man suggests they not meet anymore and instantly he goes for a kiss.  Alice runs to her sister's home.  She like other women in the position of being attracted to another man needs some approval from someone she loves like her sister.  We look for that approval at those uncomfortable times in our life when we need to be validated.

This movie happens to be a about a woman and what makes it so excitingn is that it is about a woman getting her needs met.  Alice does finally have a sexual affair with the man she has the crush on.  She finally consumates that relationship.  Once she does that then she begins to unfold her dream of writing and starts to write.  She becomes more confident.  It is exciting to see a female character getting their needs met.  I real life women are often not allowed to have their needs met and still be married or still be a mom.  Unlike men the women in our society are still living someone elses life in the form of a spouse. Even though it would be nice if a man could or would be willing to fulfill their part in a relationship many men do not.

Alice is a movie but it is so meaningful and shows a side of women that we don't often want to talk about or bring up.  Women are not suppose to have those kinds of needs and certainly they are not allowed to pursue those needs.  Like many women in the world Alice is doing what some other women really want to do but don't because of social norms about women that are a double standard. The fact is that there are many women out there who would do what Alice is doing if they let themselves be freed up of the emotional handcuffs.

No one can say what is good for anyone else but we do.  We judge others all the time and we judge women more harshly.  As one would imagine Alice's husband is having an affair and she ends up finding it out.  Her husband has apparently been having affairs the entire time they have been married.  In real life we all think that the only thing that matters is this one person we married and yet many times they are not as loyal to us as we are to them.  Often times these women like Alice never live their dreams.  It is not up to us to decide for someone like Alice or women like her.  It is up to us not to be so judging of anyone who trys so hard to be a good partner regardless of the situation.  "Love is a complex emotion" says the guru in the film and I say Love is sometimes something we hope for that is not our reality but rather what we were made to think.  Once we sit with it we all realize that love is temporary.

I like many would love to find love again but this time I want it to be more about loving myself and that person being an addition.  I like many people and like Alice want to be in love one more time but with a person who loves themselves more than me and can dance with me.  I like others want to be in a love relationship with myself and then possibly with someone else.  

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