PRAYER FOR HEALTH

My prayer for health has been my main focus the last few days.  I adopted and devised it from the book Miracle Prayer.  It begins with affirming a goal for your prayer energy and mine is for healing and perfect health.  Still I struggle with prayer and the faith that prayer works, yet I want to believe that God answers every prayer, even mine.

My health has become a main focus in my life and for good reason.  At this point I have been told that my cancer has spread.  From that moment my life has changed again in a way that I can't explain it.  In fact I am not certain exactly how and why my life is changing constantly.  In the meantime I try to live one day at a time because it's all we all have, including me.  I wish I knew what my next step was and be able to say something to others that would bring them clarity.  I cannot do that when I myself am not clear and perhaps not suppose to be.

I want to be healthy.  I want to be whole.  I want to be in a place in my life where I don't have to worry about anything else but my health, but I have, as some of you know, other things going on in my life.  I won't mention them because I don't want to give them or others too much power or in fact any more power, knowing in my heart that things will turn out better.  I will become whole and healthy and I will be united with God at every level when the time comes.  I will be relieved of whatever is painful to me and come into the light of good.

I have made many mistakes in my life.  I think most of you have heard me admit this before.  The biggest mistake is not placing myself first and doing the things that I needed to do for Elliott.  Instead I focused so much on others and ignored my own needs.  I believe this is why I ended up so ill and my healthh challenged.  Yet it is never too late.  It is time for me to understand that if I don't make myself first most of the time I am going to go deeper into the place of unknowing.  The more I agree to be there for me the more clear I am about what comes next.

Every day that goes by is another day to become more of who I am.  A chance to give myself the gift of love.  The chance to give myself the gift of health and to allow God to gift me with all that I deserve.  If I were to wish one thing for everyone else it would be to be aware that no matter where you are in your life you must see yourself clearly and love yourself more.

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