Happy Thanksgiving

As we speak I have my outfit ready on the bed for my later use.  Today I will spend my Thanksgiving with my children, their mother at her brothers home in the city.  I can feel the cold outside and I am not looking forward to it.  I feel thankful that this family is still one who embraces me even though I am not married to their sister.  I am thankful for these people who still love me and have this amazing compassion for me.  As I prepare mentally for this day I get to look closer at the reasons why I should be in a place of joy and love for myself.  It has become more and more important to me to see each day as a beginning and to be thanksful every day, not just today because it is Thanksgiving.

There is a long list of reasons why I am grateful and I could list them but most of all I want to say that I am grateful for being alive in spite of an illness that has tried to take me more than once.  It has been ten years since the beginning of my journey when they found the pollips and the signs of the C word as I call it.  Since that time I have been challenged to make the best of what I have and live every minute as best I can.  Some days I do a shitty job of it but other times I do a great job of it.  Sometimes I see the dark side and stay inside of it for a little while but frankly not for long.

My thankful plan to myself is to travel, maybe make a little trip to Mexico if I can swing it and spend time in a place that I love very much and where I feel the people are warm and inviting to me.  Since I speak the language I feel much more comfortable than some who don't.  I insist on communicating in Spanish and I can feel a deeper connection to the people of Mexico by interacting with them on a more personal cultural level.  Hopefully God will grant me this small indulgence.

Thanksgiving is like any other day to me.  I wake up every day in a place of thanks and in a place of giving.  Giving to myself and then giving what I can to others.  Every day is a chance to show God how thankful I am to his grace and the grace of goddess.  Every day is an intentional and purposeful day and a day to find myself and to uncover what is good for me.  After that then it is about sharing the wealth with others.  Happy Thanksgiving my beloveds.  May it be filled with love and laughter.
elliott collazo gonzalez

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