Self Loving Is Overated 2
Love is when you love someone even if it's not convenient. After seeing the "The Late Quartet" I witnessed for myself the love of four people who happened to be in a string quaret together. They, I would imagine could not help but to go deeply in love with one another. Something about that kind of comrad like relationship is so beautiful and touching. Something we cannot all understand nor would we expeirence if it were not for the instrument we love and the people who love them with us. How we get outide of ourselves to play in a group is the way that we might best love each other, all of us. This self loving stuff becomes secondary in a way when one asks of someone to harmonize with them musically. Would it not be so fine if that is the way we held relationship as if we were a quartet. As if we were an imporant part of something bigger? We would get our heads out of our asses and actually have a reationship, a real one where there were expctations and where we showed a love and an interest in the other person's loves and interests.
I laugh wildly at myself because I think what the hell do I know about love? I was married for ten years with a woman and then married to a man for ten years and what did I learn? Nothing really when you come down to it, really nothing at all. Well, maybe not. Maybe I do know of something in my own conceited way. I might know a little bit about relationship and love. Maybe I could be of help to someone else if they are in a relationship that looks like one I had. You simply never know. What I do know is that I want to take the focus off of all this self loving Elliott and place it one loving life and loving others. Maybe I should be focused on self loathing and taking my inventory? No that would not be right either. Nope, that just does not ring a bell for me.
I remember marrying someone at nineteen years of age. I remember seeing her in the corner of a room and knowing that one day I would marry that beautiful woman over there in the corner laughing and smiling. The girl with the great demeanor and the one that looked like she could look outisde herself for more. We danced salsa eventually once we were married. This was a woman who I bought shoes for and would place them on her feet when she was pregnant. I would go to the laundry mat as they called them and wash her bras when she could not get out of the house with our beautiful baby girl. When I look back on those days I think about how little I use to think about self love and how much I thought more about loving someone and being loved. That is how I know that self love is overated. That is how I learned my lesson because it was not ever again like that for me. No one ever saw me like she did and I had no need for self love or self loathing. I remember self love being something that was simply silly and selfish and not neccessary. There was in fact a time when couples actually lifted each other and watched out for each other and there is still hope for mankind. We can get our head out of our asses and love others and in turn really love ourselves. Honor others and honor ourselves. It does not have to start with loving me is my point. I don't have to start out focused on loving me. I did not do this for ten years of my life with a woman who I still love. I did not have to learn to love myself because she really loved me and nothing was missing from the relationship.
You are all now asking yourselves: If nothing was missing then what happened? Why are you not still married to her? That is a good question and I want to be the first reponder to it. Love ran it's course. Love was enough but it did not hide the yearning for something more. The something more you all want or at least some of you want. It is that little something that you think you need to be happy again and feel whole again or feel excited again or feel complete again. There has to be something on the other side of self loving that is more pretty, more nicer, more beautiful and more of what you wanted. It was in the end just a little desire you had that led you away from the truth which is that love is love. Self love is self love and it may be somewhat important but not more important than being loved and loving someone without conditions.
I laugh wildly at myself because I think what the hell do I know about love? I was married for ten years with a woman and then married to a man for ten years and what did I learn? Nothing really when you come down to it, really nothing at all. Well, maybe not. Maybe I do know of something in my own conceited way. I might know a little bit about relationship and love. Maybe I could be of help to someone else if they are in a relationship that looks like one I had. You simply never know. What I do know is that I want to take the focus off of all this self loving Elliott and place it one loving life and loving others. Maybe I should be focused on self loathing and taking my inventory? No that would not be right either. Nope, that just does not ring a bell for me.
I remember marrying someone at nineteen years of age. I remember seeing her in the corner of a room and knowing that one day I would marry that beautiful woman over there in the corner laughing and smiling. The girl with the great demeanor and the one that looked like she could look outisde herself for more. We danced salsa eventually once we were married. This was a woman who I bought shoes for and would place them on her feet when she was pregnant. I would go to the laundry mat as they called them and wash her bras when she could not get out of the house with our beautiful baby girl. When I look back on those days I think about how little I use to think about self love and how much I thought more about loving someone and being loved. That is how I know that self love is overated. That is how I learned my lesson because it was not ever again like that for me. No one ever saw me like she did and I had no need for self love or self loathing. I remember self love being something that was simply silly and selfish and not neccessary. There was in fact a time when couples actually lifted each other and watched out for each other and there is still hope for mankind. We can get our head out of our asses and love others and in turn really love ourselves. Honor others and honor ourselves. It does not have to start with loving me is my point. I don't have to start out focused on loving me. I did not do this for ten years of my life with a woman who I still love. I did not have to learn to love myself because she really loved me and nothing was missing from the relationship.
You are all now asking yourselves: If nothing was missing then what happened? Why are you not still married to her? That is a good question and I want to be the first reponder to it. Love ran it's course. Love was enough but it did not hide the yearning for something more. The something more you all want or at least some of you want. It is that little something that you think you need to be happy again and feel whole again or feel excited again or feel complete again. There has to be something on the other side of self loving that is more pretty, more nicer, more beautiful and more of what you wanted. It was in the end just a little desire you had that led you away from the truth which is that love is love. Self love is self love and it may be somewhat important but not more important than being loved and loving someone without conditions.
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