Marriage 2
I must admit that once I get to a certain number of words my blog site seems to go crazy and suddenly the page begins to jump around as if possessed. With that said I am going to continue my blog about marriage, my experience. First with a woman.
As I was saying love was given without tallying or taking score and without conditions. The longer we were married the more it felt as though nothing could change that strong feeling of committment. The years turned so quickly and before we knew it we had our first child. I recall being in that operating room where she had a C section because the "baby is in fetal distress". Then it became more ofa priority to be present for our child and it added even more of a committment to each other in part for our beautiful little girl. We ended up having our second child after five more years but unfortunately at that time my heart was not in the relaitonship but rather in thoughts of my honesty to myself as a gay man. It was for me the hardest thing I ever decided to do which was to act on my physcial attraction to men. I did not know how to tell her but eventually just before the divorce I did admit it to her. We cried and we pondered getting through it somehow but that was not to be the case. Ten years later we were divorced by the same attorney friend of the family. We made it as easy for each other as possible, her keeping the house for our children. There was not even a thought about fighting over a home that really belonged to our children, a home they needed and were raised in. Unlike many divorces we made an effort to be loving and kind and mostly it worked. We were able to end our relationship and keep our loving friendship and to this day we are friends.
I want to thank her because unlike some of the gay men I met she did not try to drag me through the courts and sighting my sexuality as an issue for either being a good parent, insulting me or making me feel badly. To this day I am in disbelief of how wonderful and kind she was to me and for our children. To this day I am honored to have been married to her because no matter what she respected me as a person and allowed me to just be a dad to our children with no strings attached and no guilting me.
For me there is a very important element in that there was this balance that I believe came from the feminine and masculine energies combined. I could not say that about being in a relationship with a male.
Stay tuned....
As I was saying love was given without tallying or taking score and without conditions. The longer we were married the more it felt as though nothing could change that strong feeling of committment. The years turned so quickly and before we knew it we had our first child. I recall being in that operating room where she had a C section because the "baby is in fetal distress". Then it became more ofa priority to be present for our child and it added even more of a committment to each other in part for our beautiful little girl. We ended up having our second child after five more years but unfortunately at that time my heart was not in the relaitonship but rather in thoughts of my honesty to myself as a gay man. It was for me the hardest thing I ever decided to do which was to act on my physcial attraction to men. I did not know how to tell her but eventually just before the divorce I did admit it to her. We cried and we pondered getting through it somehow but that was not to be the case. Ten years later we were divorced by the same attorney friend of the family. We made it as easy for each other as possible, her keeping the house for our children. There was not even a thought about fighting over a home that really belonged to our children, a home they needed and were raised in. Unlike many divorces we made an effort to be loving and kind and mostly it worked. We were able to end our relationship and keep our loving friendship and to this day we are friends.
I want to thank her because unlike some of the gay men I met she did not try to drag me through the courts and sighting my sexuality as an issue for either being a good parent, insulting me or making me feel badly. To this day I am in disbelief of how wonderful and kind she was to me and for our children. To this day I am honored to have been married to her because no matter what she respected me as a person and allowed me to just be a dad to our children with no strings attached and no guilting me.
For me there is a very important element in that there was this balance that I believe came from the feminine and masculine energies combined. I could not say that about being in a relationship with a male.
Stay tuned....
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