For Men
For years now even before there was a book written about women by a man, Stever Harvey wrote one, I have been thinking about writing a book to help men do a better job of interacting, respecting and loving women. So often my women friends have shared things with me about men that I feel like I have a bank of knowledge. I definately have some wisdom in this area because of women and my willingness to listen to what they have to say. In fact my favorite story to tell is that I had this party once and there were 45 guests, 42 of them were women. In that group of friends were straight women, lesbians and bisexual women, likely some who may have been undecided. Through the years as a friend of women and as a life coach I have heard it all and I do mean all of it.
I recall crying one night prior to working with women and leading a women's retreat. I cried because my ego said: " who do you think you are Elliott, leading women, you are a man"? On another occassion I was brought to tears when I asked each woman in a workshop to express something about themselves and when it was my turn I said: "I want to be a spiritual leader". With that said one of the women in the group raised her voice and said: "you already are". I was brought to tears at that very moment and even to this day I struggle with the idea that I have been asked to raise women and serve them by planning events where they can attend and release in a place where they feel safe. In fact this November I am planning an event for women in my home for a weekend.
If I were to begin my book to men it would be with this chapter about reading body language I think that men are a bit of trouble trying to read what a woman is saying without words. The woman on the other hand is clear in her mind as to what she is depicting to the man.. Men have trouble reading what a woman is saying in her body language mainly because they are not paying attention to their body language and maybe not taking their eyes off the girls (women's breast) or other extended parts of her. If men would be concious of body language they would know better how to proceed what to say and what not to say. Women often times have very obvious body language and in fact some make it a point to be illustrative in their body language in hopes that either the man will come closer or go further away. All men have to do is read the language. For example if the woman has her hands crossed in front of her that may be a sign that she'd rather not be approached or bothered. If she looks stern that might be a clue that she is not open at the moment. If she looks sad it may very well be that something has happened that had brought that on. The worse things men to is to ignore the woman's body language especially if she is your spouse or girlfriend. When men ignore the lady's body language it is in a way disrespectful. It is telling her you don't care and even though you might have the argument that you are "not a mind reader" this still does not excuse him. A hand on the hip means something, a toss of the hair may have some meaning or message and a crossing of the legs could be an invitation to come and talk to her. Look closely at a woman's body language but be careful not to misinterpret what she is trying to say. If you are unsure the best thing to do is ask. I would ask a question like: I get the feeling you are angry, is there something I did to upset you? or you might ask: "I saw you from across the room smiling and I felt like it was an invitation to come and get to know you, is that accurate?". Body language is often times the only sign a man may get from a woman he does not know. Her way of expressing is in her body is saying something and
it includes her face. There is no mistake that many women will tell you that men are not paying attention to their body language and don't understand why a man either comes towards them or goes away from them based on their language. Men need to listen to body language because it is like words and you may even hear some words coming from the body of the woman you might be married to, admire or want to get to know. Ignoring or not seeing a woman's body language is a mistake many men make. It is the complaint women have about men not paying attention and it is legit.
I recall crying one night prior to working with women and leading a women's retreat. I cried because my ego said: " who do you think you are Elliott, leading women, you are a man"? On another occassion I was brought to tears when I asked each woman in a workshop to express something about themselves and when it was my turn I said: "I want to be a spiritual leader". With that said one of the women in the group raised her voice and said: "you already are". I was brought to tears at that very moment and even to this day I struggle with the idea that I have been asked to raise women and serve them by planning events where they can attend and release in a place where they feel safe. In fact this November I am planning an event for women in my home for a weekend.
If I were to begin my book to men it would be with this chapter about reading body language I think that men are a bit of trouble trying to read what a woman is saying without words. The woman on the other hand is clear in her mind as to what she is depicting to the man.. Men have trouble reading what a woman is saying in her body language mainly because they are not paying attention to their body language and maybe not taking their eyes off the girls (women's breast) or other extended parts of her. If men would be concious of body language they would know better how to proceed what to say and what not to say. Women often times have very obvious body language and in fact some make it a point to be illustrative in their body language in hopes that either the man will come closer or go further away. All men have to do is read the language. For example if the woman has her hands crossed in front of her that may be a sign that she'd rather not be approached or bothered. If she looks stern that might be a clue that she is not open at the moment. If she looks sad it may very well be that something has happened that had brought that on. The worse things men to is to ignore the woman's body language especially if she is your spouse or girlfriend. When men ignore the lady's body language it is in a way disrespectful. It is telling her you don't care and even though you might have the argument that you are "not a mind reader" this still does not excuse him. A hand on the hip means something, a toss of the hair may have some meaning or message and a crossing of the legs could be an invitation to come and talk to her. Look closely at a woman's body language but be careful not to misinterpret what she is trying to say. If you are unsure the best thing to do is ask. I would ask a question like: I get the feeling you are angry, is there something I did to upset you? or you might ask: "I saw you from across the room smiling and I felt like it was an invitation to come and get to know you, is that accurate?". Body language is often times the only sign a man may get from a woman he does not know. Her way of expressing is in her body is saying something and
it includes her face. There is no mistake that many women will tell you that men are not paying attention to their body language and don't understand why a man either comes towards them or goes away from them based on their language. Men need to listen to body language because it is like words and you may even hear some words coming from the body of the woman you might be married to, admire or want to get to know. Ignoring or not seeing a woman's body language is a mistake many men make. It is the complaint women have about men not paying attention and it is legit.
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