Holding On Too Tightly
"Things that matter come and go, but being touched and feeling life move on, we tent to cling and hold, on not wanting anything to change. Of course, this fails and things to change. Often times we ares stubborn enough to go after what we think is leaving, trying to manipulate and control the flow of life. Of course this fails too."
Mark Nepo
The part of this quote that plays with me is "we are stubborn enough to go after what with think is leaving, trying to manipulate and control the flow of life." We cannot accept that someone is leaving our life and abandonment is harsh and hurts. Yet there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. We want to hold on to what is not ours, what does not belong to us. We hold on because it is familiar even if it is fucked up and absusive. We find out that we not only cannot hold anyone or anything we find our how harmful it is to attempt to keep it.
As much as it hurts for someone to walk out of your life it is likely the single most loving favor they can do for you. The person who is being left behind allows his or her ego to make them think that it is personal when in fact it is not. It is something someone needed to do for their own reasons and like human nature most things do come to an end, even relationship.
The moment that we think we can keep someone in our life is the moment we find out that we can't. This is why we must be in love with our self more than we are in love with another. We must know that our value does not come from the person we are with but rather from our own steam and our own life and deeds. We are still hurt when people walk away from us but not as attached to the outcome when we are invested in our own journey, our own life and our own loving essence.
We must not "cling on" to others because inevitably we scare them away. We must not cling to others because we are worth more than that. Our life has to be the number one priority not someone elses life. It is one thing to be compassionate it is another to be obsessed with another person. This is where things become complicated and unhealthy. We can only change our selves and be focused on chnging our own life and situation and when someone is in our life it should just be additional to what we value the most, our spirit.
Mark Nepo
The part of this quote that plays with me is "we are stubborn enough to go after what with think is leaving, trying to manipulate and control the flow of life." We cannot accept that someone is leaving our life and abandonment is harsh and hurts. Yet there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. We want to hold on to what is not ours, what does not belong to us. We hold on because it is familiar even if it is fucked up and absusive. We find out that we not only cannot hold anyone or anything we find our how harmful it is to attempt to keep it.
As much as it hurts for someone to walk out of your life it is likely the single most loving favor they can do for you. The person who is being left behind allows his or her ego to make them think that it is personal when in fact it is not. It is something someone needed to do for their own reasons and like human nature most things do come to an end, even relationship.
The moment that we think we can keep someone in our life is the moment we find out that we can't. This is why we must be in love with our self more than we are in love with another. We must know that our value does not come from the person we are with but rather from our own steam and our own life and deeds. We are still hurt when people walk away from us but not as attached to the outcome when we are invested in our own journey, our own life and our own loving essence.
We must not "cling on" to others because inevitably we scare them away. We must not cling to others because we are worth more than that. Our life has to be the number one priority not someone elses life. It is one thing to be compassionate it is another to be obsessed with another person. This is where things become complicated and unhealthy. We can only change our selves and be focused on chnging our own life and situation and when someone is in our life it should just be additional to what we value the most, our spirit.
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