Two Days with Mama

Everyone who knows me are well aware of the rather difficult relationship we have had, not speaking to each other for years at a time.  There were times when I thought that she was the worse person and I have a feeling she may have thought something similar.  Over the years there has been an on and off again relatonship.  As much as we would want it to work it just did not seem to be in the cards for us to be a mom and son who were close.  In fact we were not close at all.  I recall as a teen leaving home and going from Chicago to Ohio to get away from the tremendously stressful situation between us, but what I know today is that my mom had some mental health issues that she struggled with and I was not very forgiving.  I knew there was something terribly wrong but felt helpless to do anything about it.  I wanted to fix it but could not and should not have been expected to.

Since my cancer diagnosis my mother has been more attentive and very compassionate. She has been calling me more.  A couple of days ago she called me to say she was coming to visit.  I did not know what to think of it and one of my concerns was that she smokes and my environment is smoke free.  I also thought about what it would be like after many yars to spend one day with her which is what was the original idea.  Then it got to dark outside for her to drive and she was sleepy so I asked her to stay.  This led to two days of sharing and connecting.  I was joyfull surprised at the amount of communication that took place so fluidly between us even laughing at times.  It was such a pleasure to have the experience and I for one was real happy she had come to see me.  She even made me the favorite rice and pigeon peas with chikcen that was awesome.  Coffee in the morning and at night a movie and before we knew it there were two days gone by.

I am so grateful for the love and the connection with my mom after so many years of some rough times.  It pointed out to vividly to me that there can be a change in us and in our dynamic if we would like there to be.  That love can grow from a hard sitaution like cancer and facing the demons of whatever held us back.  With gratitude I am so happy that we had this time together to eat, smile, laugh and feel free to be.

I think that if there is someone in your family that you have disconnected from it could be a good time to connect with them once again.  I am happy that my mom and I had these two loving days.