Are You Sex Positive or Sex Negative?
There is certainly nothing wrong with being asexual even if that prominent sex therapist man does not agree. He seems to think there is no such a horse of that color. I totally disagree with him knowing fully that sex is not just physicality but rather takes every fiber of who we are to participate in whatever way we see best even if it is not to be sexual in a way that others think it real. Sex can and is a part of life and yet it is not all of our life. Once the sex wears off a bit some of us forget that there is more to love than sex three days a week. We are all geared in some positive or negative manner around sex and sexuality. Although I don't consider myself smart: I have three degrees, one is Spiritual Psychology, I have a lot of common sense. Three degrees later I believe love is love and sex is sex and that they don't have to be the same thing or intertwine, unless we want them to. Some of us went to Catholic church where sex was presented as a way to have babies and nothing else. Women especially were not allowed or given permission or promoted to have fun with sex and enjoy it, although I suspect that many women did not aide by their rules, thank goodness. I still am talking to women who are wanting to have some form of intimacy even if it is not involving penetration. There are still women struggling with the same equal opportunity to enjoy sex outside of their relationship where sex is sexless. Whatever your opinion and viewpoint it is important to decide where you stand with sex. Are you sex positive? Are you sex negative? How do you know? Whey do you want to know?
I know a woman who is with another woman who she adores. They look like the perfect couple and the truth is that they are. The only thing that is sometimes missing is the sex. One is a "straight" woman and the other identifies as lesbian yet this has not stopped them from having a wonderful and long lasting and loving connection. Every time I am around them my heart soars. What an incredible couple. Still I ask myself if maybe one or the other would like a little sex once in a while when it seems that for some of us that is what consumates a relationship. I for one would not advocate for either one although I like the idea of someone wanting to have sex with me oddly enough. But this is not about me is it?
You know you are sex negative when you are harboring a lot of NO's attached to sex and sexuality. When you avoid sex and the talk of sex. That is for me the indicator that you are possibly sex negative. In the past you were programmed to think that sex was not for pleasure and in fact it sometimes hurt like it did in the beginning of my male friends relationship. Thank goodness she finally stood up and said that it hurt her. Sometimes we need to figure it out and change from a sex negative person to a sex positive person using tenderness and consideration and love to transform. Sex negative people have had a lot of hurt around sex. They have likely confused sex with love and when the other person lets them know they are in it for the fun, they draw back and away from healthy sex. That confusion of love is sex and sex is love is a big one for millions of women and men. The way we perceive sex will lead us into a good or bad place in the sexual area of our lives. We are still struggling with this thought that if we want sex we are somehow raunchy or cheap or lustful and that thiese feelings are wrong. What the fuck is wrong with sex for the pupose of sex? That we don't want to admit that we are horny human beings? We have to look inside to figure out what false shit we learned about sex and having it when we want it. I will begin with one healing statement. Sex is natural and wantin gto have sex is as natural as breathing. Giving up on sex is not.
Ridding ourselves of this sex negative stuff will take us looking inward, touching our bodies, pleasuring our bodies and then being OK with enjoying all of it from A to Z, alone or with someone else.
Sex positive people are a dying breed yet growing. You don't get this sex positive attitude from women at the office but there are many women practicing and enjoying sex and not apologizing for liking it. There are even women teaching other women how to experiment and have fun with sex. There is a growing population of young people having relationships with more than one person and it not being a secret but rather a natural way to hold relationship and practice their sexuality. There are no denials or pretence but rather this open minded way of looking at sex and having sex and enjoying sex, even with more than one partner. These are the sex positive people who are still loving sex at sixty and over. No reservations, no restrictions around sex. The amount of it does not get calculated and there is not a need for appointments. It is natural and flows from the spirit, the heart and a genuine connection to their body and that of others. There is respect and honor about sex and it does not have to be kinky or crazy.
to be continued...
I know a woman who is with another woman who she adores. They look like the perfect couple and the truth is that they are. The only thing that is sometimes missing is the sex. One is a "straight" woman and the other identifies as lesbian yet this has not stopped them from having a wonderful and long lasting and loving connection. Every time I am around them my heart soars. What an incredible couple. Still I ask myself if maybe one or the other would like a little sex once in a while when it seems that for some of us that is what consumates a relationship. I for one would not advocate for either one although I like the idea of someone wanting to have sex with me oddly enough. But this is not about me is it?
You know you are sex negative when you are harboring a lot of NO's attached to sex and sexuality. When you avoid sex and the talk of sex. That is for me the indicator that you are possibly sex negative. In the past you were programmed to think that sex was not for pleasure and in fact it sometimes hurt like it did in the beginning of my male friends relationship. Thank goodness she finally stood up and said that it hurt her. Sometimes we need to figure it out and change from a sex negative person to a sex positive person using tenderness and consideration and love to transform. Sex negative people have had a lot of hurt around sex. They have likely confused sex with love and when the other person lets them know they are in it for the fun, they draw back and away from healthy sex. That confusion of love is sex and sex is love is a big one for millions of women and men. The way we perceive sex will lead us into a good or bad place in the sexual area of our lives. We are still struggling with this thought that if we want sex we are somehow raunchy or cheap or lustful and that thiese feelings are wrong. What the fuck is wrong with sex for the pupose of sex? That we don't want to admit that we are horny human beings? We have to look inside to figure out what false shit we learned about sex and having it when we want it. I will begin with one healing statement. Sex is natural and wantin gto have sex is as natural as breathing. Giving up on sex is not.
Ridding ourselves of this sex negative stuff will take us looking inward, touching our bodies, pleasuring our bodies and then being OK with enjoying all of it from A to Z, alone or with someone else.
Sex positive people are a dying breed yet growing. You don't get this sex positive attitude from women at the office but there are many women practicing and enjoying sex and not apologizing for liking it. There are even women teaching other women how to experiment and have fun with sex. There is a growing population of young people having relationships with more than one person and it not being a secret but rather a natural way to hold relationship and practice their sexuality. There are no denials or pretence but rather this open minded way of looking at sex and having sex and enjoying sex, even with more than one partner. These are the sex positive people who are still loving sex at sixty and over. No reservations, no restrictions around sex. The amount of it does not get calculated and there is not a need for appointments. It is natural and flows from the spirit, the heart and a genuine connection to their body and that of others. There is respect and honor about sex and it does not have to be kinky or crazy.
to be continued...
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