I Sobbed and You Will Too 2
Today was a good day because I cried. I first cried during my meditation and then I sobbed after watching the movie "Separating Twins" about twins who were joined at the brain. While a young woman was in India she miraculously found out about these babies who without medical attention would be dead very soon after their birth. As fate would have it she ended up adopting these girls and bringing them back to the US with her. Somehow she was able to find surgeons that were willing to seperate the twins even though it was a highly risky surgery and the chances were not that great that they would even live least of all live normal lives. It was decided after the very first surgery that the process would be slowed down to months and months of surgery, taking it little by little. At one point one of the twins who was much weaker looked as though she might not make it. Finally it was to that juncture where the twins had to be seperated or die and so the final surgery was scheduled. The story was so emotional I finally broke down sobbing at my kitchen counter.
What I know is that Goddess picked this movie for me to see and that yesterday she'd picked one about people with down syndrome being married. What I know is that my heart is still there even after all the treatments and all the things that I have undergone. I still have this sensitivity about me and it comes forward ever more easily. I have been given more than one chance to see movies like "The Evolution of Everything" and to be in a place of pure surrender and of pure feelings, allowing myself the room to just release the pent up sorrow about this or that or the other in my life now. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and received the message clearly that I am not alone and that in fact there are people sruggling, children suffering, all over the world. There are also people with hope and that inspire me like the guy who choose to go to India to see what he could do for children with Aids. It again made me understand how connected we are and how little time there is for hate or resentments. How much time there is for love and for giving. How much there is a need for us to stand up and be counted.
I have a friend who voluteered for hospice at NMH for many many years. He saw many men and women through to the other side. He wanted to do this work and he did it without thinking. He never once bragged about doing it but rather smiled and became joyful when he thought about doing the work that few would do. I still talk to this man who is likely in his mid seventies or close to that and who is still doing volunteer work in Mo. He is disappointed that they will not let him work with the dying but he took what they gave him. He has been as healthy as an Ox as far as I can recall from thirty years ago when I met him. I think God has him around to help others because he is so very good at it and does it with joy. I am not sure I could do what he has done. What an incredible soulful man. What courage it takes to have done what he did among so many cowards. Me included.
It has been a series of movies on Netflix about bravery and people in other parts of the world like China who are suffering from Aids and who are shunned by many. We are so lucky here not to have that happen to us as often as it does elsewhere. We are so fortunate to have modern medicine and all that we need to survive for years with HIV while others are dying by the minute in India and China and other places around the globe. We who are so privileged and who do so little for the earth and others in the world who are suffering thinking it has nothing to do with us when in fact it has everything to do with us. Everything!
As I begin my own journey in 2015 my intention is to go to India and teach at a school owned by a friend I met in California and to make a difference. My intention is to find the deepest part of me and to ask of myself all that I can possibly do. I want to live long enough to help people who are much less fortunate than me to laugh and smile. I want to live long enough to love others in a way that is meant to be like a brotherhood of man. I want to take my last breath and know that I did something to change the life of a human being who has suffered more than I. While others may "find it depressing" to watch movies about real life situations I invite it because it reminds me that I am much too priviledged.
What I know is that Goddess picked this movie for me to see and that yesterday she'd picked one about people with down syndrome being married. What I know is that my heart is still there even after all the treatments and all the things that I have undergone. I still have this sensitivity about me and it comes forward ever more easily. I have been given more than one chance to see movies like "The Evolution of Everything" and to be in a place of pure surrender and of pure feelings, allowing myself the room to just release the pent up sorrow about this or that or the other in my life now. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and received the message clearly that I am not alone and that in fact there are people sruggling, children suffering, all over the world. There are also people with hope and that inspire me like the guy who choose to go to India to see what he could do for children with Aids. It again made me understand how connected we are and how little time there is for hate or resentments. How much time there is for love and for giving. How much there is a need for us to stand up and be counted.
I have a friend who voluteered for hospice at NMH for many many years. He saw many men and women through to the other side. He wanted to do this work and he did it without thinking. He never once bragged about doing it but rather smiled and became joyful when he thought about doing the work that few would do. I still talk to this man who is likely in his mid seventies or close to that and who is still doing volunteer work in Mo. He is disappointed that they will not let him work with the dying but he took what they gave him. He has been as healthy as an Ox as far as I can recall from thirty years ago when I met him. I think God has him around to help others because he is so very good at it and does it with joy. I am not sure I could do what he has done. What an incredible soulful man. What courage it takes to have done what he did among so many cowards. Me included.
It has been a series of movies on Netflix about bravery and people in other parts of the world like China who are suffering from Aids and who are shunned by many. We are so lucky here not to have that happen to us as often as it does elsewhere. We are so fortunate to have modern medicine and all that we need to survive for years with HIV while others are dying by the minute in India and China and other places around the globe. We who are so privileged and who do so little for the earth and others in the world who are suffering thinking it has nothing to do with us when in fact it has everything to do with us. Everything!
As I begin my own journey in 2015 my intention is to go to India and teach at a school owned by a friend I met in California and to make a difference. My intention is to find the deepest part of me and to ask of myself all that I can possibly do. I want to live long enough to help people who are much less fortunate than me to laugh and smile. I want to live long enough to love others in a way that is meant to be like a brotherhood of man. I want to take my last breath and know that I did something to change the life of a human being who has suffered more than I. While others may "find it depressing" to watch movies about real life situations I invite it because it reminds me that I am much too priviledged.
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