Love Your Way 11 (a continuation)
This is likely the longest ongoing topic for a blog I have written about. I am seemingly stuck on this topic of being loved my way or rather you "being loved your way" and how to be loved your way. I think it to be a topic well worth the time and effort. Being loved your way has an element of empowerment in that it is all about asking to be cared for and treated in a way that you deem it and not anyone else. It is being loved the way that God and Spirit and Source says we are to be loved. In a way that is honorable and healthy for us.
There is a lot of confusion about how people show us love and even more confusion around what looks like and feels like love. The reason for this is because we have been fooled into thinking that love is jealousy or that love is ownership or marriage. Love gets confusing because some of us believe that love means spending every second of every day with a person and not having any time for ourselves. Others believe that love means being with your partner, spouse or loved one forever no matter what ensues in the relationship that is unloving. We think we must stick to it no matter what the circumstances are: an alcoholic partner, a soft abuser, an emotionally absent partner or a husband who is not having sex with us. Accepting all these things that are not in our joy meter is not having love our way. In fact it is having love in a way that is diluted and delusional. It is thinking we are in love and being loved when in fact we are not. Every sign in the relationship is telling us that we are not being loved.
Having love your way is having love with intention and with criteria. There has to be some elements of what you want in a relationship for it to be a loving relationship and a nurturing one. There must be intention to love and purposeful actions. Love does not just unfold and happen without any effort on both parts and with both parties. Love your way could be having a relationship with someone who thinks about you during the day and lets you know that they miss you. Love your way might mean that once in a while your partner makes you breakfast in bed instead of going to his or her breakfast club. Love your way could be that your partner learn to dance with your for your wedding or anniversary party. Love your way can have a number of simple criteria that can easily be met by someone who cares enough about you to love you in a way you ask for.
When you don't feel like you are being loved your way it is a sure sign that something needs addressing. When you don't feel loved that is a sign that there needs to be a dialog between you and someone. When you don't feel like you are being loved your way at all then it is a sign that maybe you are not in the right relationship with the right person for you. If your partner, friend or family member cannot hear your voice and adhere to some of what your needs as a human being are then it is time to either fix it or let it go. With family of course we simply continue to have a relationship that is on the surface while with a spouse we may not want to accept so little of our needs being met that we stay in spite of the shortcomings and the fact that this person is not forthcoming.
Love your way is love with some intention and aspects that say that there is love in a relationship. If the aspects are not there then you are not receiving the love you deserve and you must decide if not having the love your way is OK with you.
There is a lot of confusion about how people show us love and even more confusion around what looks like and feels like love. The reason for this is because we have been fooled into thinking that love is jealousy or that love is ownership or marriage. Love gets confusing because some of us believe that love means spending every second of every day with a person and not having any time for ourselves. Others believe that love means being with your partner, spouse or loved one forever no matter what ensues in the relationship that is unloving. We think we must stick to it no matter what the circumstances are: an alcoholic partner, a soft abuser, an emotionally absent partner or a husband who is not having sex with us. Accepting all these things that are not in our joy meter is not having love our way. In fact it is having love in a way that is diluted and delusional. It is thinking we are in love and being loved when in fact we are not. Every sign in the relationship is telling us that we are not being loved.
Having love your way is having love with intention and with criteria. There has to be some elements of what you want in a relationship for it to be a loving relationship and a nurturing one. There must be intention to love and purposeful actions. Love does not just unfold and happen without any effort on both parts and with both parties. Love your way could be having a relationship with someone who thinks about you during the day and lets you know that they miss you. Love your way might mean that once in a while your partner makes you breakfast in bed instead of going to his or her breakfast club. Love your way could be that your partner learn to dance with your for your wedding or anniversary party. Love your way can have a number of simple criteria that can easily be met by someone who cares enough about you to love you in a way you ask for.
When you don't feel like you are being loved your way it is a sure sign that something needs addressing. When you don't feel loved that is a sign that there needs to be a dialog between you and someone. When you don't feel like you are being loved your way at all then it is a sign that maybe you are not in the right relationship with the right person for you. If your partner, friend or family member cannot hear your voice and adhere to some of what your needs as a human being are then it is time to either fix it or let it go. With family of course we simply continue to have a relationship that is on the surface while with a spouse we may not want to accept so little of our needs being met that we stay in spite of the shortcomings and the fact that this person is not forthcoming.
Love your way is love with some intention and aspects that say that there is love in a relationship. If the aspects are not there then you are not receiving the love you deserve and you must decide if not having the love your way is OK with you.
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