Love Your Way 4
As I continue on my own quest for loving myself and honoring myself I cannot help but to think what it was like to not. I would not recommend that to anyone in this lifetime and space on the universe or planet. I would say that not honoring myself and not asking for what I wanted yielded me some serious consequences like my "health opportunity" which if I were to think back far enough could have been cured naturally had I not been so engrossed in pleasing someone else. Which brings me to this portion of how to have love your way. I can talk for hours about how to not get love your way because frankly I was more skilled at that then than I was setting boundaries and insisting I be respected and honored. Although I paid a high price for it I am still not sure that I want to dwell on the past but rather release it and move forward knowing that what happened to me may not happen to you if I can be honest but loving around the journey that I undertook.
Love the way you want and need it is love in a style that you like it. It is like the shoes you wear. Some of us like very comfortable shoes that look smart and we pay more to get more because we are not cheap but rather generous with the health of our pretty feet. Asking for love the way that matches your shoes is like a promise to yourself that you are not settling for less because your heart is worth it. Like your feet your feelings are important and worth expelling the time and energy into even if someone else refuses to participate. But as long as you are going to be in any relationship you have to insist on being treated with YOUR definition of love not their definition of love. Each of us gets to determine that and tell what it is that we define it as and how we see and feel love the best. No one knows that better than our inner self. We know exactly what we need to feel love and the only thing that needs to happen is to express it. If those needs are not met then this alone is a clue that you might be in the wrong situation or relationship. Even if it is your own blood relative it is OK to ask to be addressed in a particular manner and to be respected at all times. Nothing should be left to chance because in the long run people will fulfill their needs if you don't interrupt long enough to ask and let your needs be known and met. If you have asked for love your way and nothing becomes of it then you are surely spinning your wheels and it's time to as they say "move on and move out". I think with all my heart that there are more takers in the world hence knowing that from the beginning when you are denied what you are asking for is a very good thing. Move on. Don't stay inside a relationship where your needs are ignored, not met, made fun of or dismissed. Move up and out quickly and lovingly. Smile as you walk away.
Love your way means that you get a say in how you are loved. You are empowered and things just don't unfold per chance or by happenstance. Love your way tells others that you have a criteria that they have to meet and that if they cannot that it is OK but that you won't stay in a situation where they get what they need and you don't. It is harmful to your spirit and to your soul. Getting love your way means you have to have courage and that you have to be willing to be denied and when denied know where you stand and be able to stand for what you say is respectful, loving and compassionate. No one gets to say what that means for you. It is not a contest as to whether someone understands your needs and is willing to meet them. It is not up for debate whether they will or will not protect you and stand up for you because that is the way you want and deserve to be loved. When and if it becomes a debate it is clearly a sign to let go and let God, so let go and let god have that person. He or she is not the one for you.
Sally is a woman who is married to a man who is a bully. Sally has endured this man for a number of years sometimes warning him that if he continues to bully her she and he will be no more. Still this man continues to bully her and at times as it would be in many cases with people, she loses her cool and fights back. This makes things much worse of course but then who can blame her, right? She can only take so much verbal abuse. Like Sally there are many women in jail for offing their bully or abuser. Like Sally they all feel justified in having done what they did in order to protect their honor or just because they became enraged with anger and lost it. It only takes that one moment and whether we think her guilty or not she did not commit the crime because she woke up one day and deicided to kill her husband. Well, perhaps there are some Sallys like that but I don't believe that most women do this just because they set out to do so or just because they felt an itch to off someone, namely their partner. All over the world we are seeing crimes like these that illustrate how much people are not honored, not respected, not loved, not protected and not loved in the way they deserved to be. In fact we are witnessing more and more crimes by women towards men than ever before because of a woman not being loved her way. It does not make it right but it does tell us that something needs to be fixed. Being treated in unloving ways sometimes leads to the most desperate measures we cannot even imagine, like death, suicide or murder. As much as it scares us to even talk about it this has become more common place when people are abused repeatedly whether they can walk away or not. I worry about the Sally's of the world because these are the women who are not being loved in the manner they would like to be or asked to be. They excuse it for many reasons like the children or finances. They stay in abusive relationships for many years thinking they don't have a choice, believing that they don't have a say. Not asking for what they want got them what they did not want.
To be continud...
Love the way you want and need it is love in a style that you like it. It is like the shoes you wear. Some of us like very comfortable shoes that look smart and we pay more to get more because we are not cheap but rather generous with the health of our pretty feet. Asking for love the way that matches your shoes is like a promise to yourself that you are not settling for less because your heart is worth it. Like your feet your feelings are important and worth expelling the time and energy into even if someone else refuses to participate. But as long as you are going to be in any relationship you have to insist on being treated with YOUR definition of love not their definition of love. Each of us gets to determine that and tell what it is that we define it as and how we see and feel love the best. No one knows that better than our inner self. We know exactly what we need to feel love and the only thing that needs to happen is to express it. If those needs are not met then this alone is a clue that you might be in the wrong situation or relationship. Even if it is your own blood relative it is OK to ask to be addressed in a particular manner and to be respected at all times. Nothing should be left to chance because in the long run people will fulfill their needs if you don't interrupt long enough to ask and let your needs be known and met. If you have asked for love your way and nothing becomes of it then you are surely spinning your wheels and it's time to as they say "move on and move out". I think with all my heart that there are more takers in the world hence knowing that from the beginning when you are denied what you are asking for is a very good thing. Move on. Don't stay inside a relationship where your needs are ignored, not met, made fun of or dismissed. Move up and out quickly and lovingly. Smile as you walk away.
Love your way means that you get a say in how you are loved. You are empowered and things just don't unfold per chance or by happenstance. Love your way tells others that you have a criteria that they have to meet and that if they cannot that it is OK but that you won't stay in a situation where they get what they need and you don't. It is harmful to your spirit and to your soul. Getting love your way means you have to have courage and that you have to be willing to be denied and when denied know where you stand and be able to stand for what you say is respectful, loving and compassionate. No one gets to say what that means for you. It is not a contest as to whether someone understands your needs and is willing to meet them. It is not up for debate whether they will or will not protect you and stand up for you because that is the way you want and deserve to be loved. When and if it becomes a debate it is clearly a sign to let go and let God, so let go and let god have that person. He or she is not the one for you.
Sally is a woman who is married to a man who is a bully. Sally has endured this man for a number of years sometimes warning him that if he continues to bully her she and he will be no more. Still this man continues to bully her and at times as it would be in many cases with people, she loses her cool and fights back. This makes things much worse of course but then who can blame her, right? She can only take so much verbal abuse. Like Sally there are many women in jail for offing their bully or abuser. Like Sally they all feel justified in having done what they did in order to protect their honor or just because they became enraged with anger and lost it. It only takes that one moment and whether we think her guilty or not she did not commit the crime because she woke up one day and deicided to kill her husband. Well, perhaps there are some Sallys like that but I don't believe that most women do this just because they set out to do so or just because they felt an itch to off someone, namely their partner. All over the world we are seeing crimes like these that illustrate how much people are not honored, not respected, not loved, not protected and not loved in the way they deserved to be. In fact we are witnessing more and more crimes by women towards men than ever before because of a woman not being loved her way. It does not make it right but it does tell us that something needs to be fixed. Being treated in unloving ways sometimes leads to the most desperate measures we cannot even imagine, like death, suicide or murder. As much as it scares us to even talk about it this has become more common place when people are abused repeatedly whether they can walk away or not. I worry about the Sally's of the world because these are the women who are not being loved in the manner they would like to be or asked to be. They excuse it for many reasons like the children or finances. They stay in abusive relationships for many years thinking they don't have a choice, believing that they don't have a say. Not asking for what they want got them what they did not want.
To be continud...
Comments
Post a Comment