Love Your Way 7 +

Getting the love you want is not easily accomplished especially if you are in a relationship with what I call a "ruthless taker" who is disguised as a giver.  The one that says he or she is a nurturer when in reality they are blood suckers.  Getting the love you want is a two way street and takes being with someone who is willing to give and take not just take and take and take.  I have been in several relationships and what I have found is that not asking for what I wanted got me more of what I did not want or expect and I ended up doing all the work.  Then resentment would set in and instead of saying something I would clam up for two weeks.  I also found that when I did say something it was turned into an 'Oh, I am not good enough" sob story that ended in zero action or work on the other person's part.  It was easier to blame and shame that to change and rearrange.  It was easier to become defensive and start at tit for tat than to do the work required to have a balanced relationship.  Most people just don't want to do the work.

Getting the love you want or getting love your way is an art.  It begins with us deciding what we want and knowing how to ask for it.  It starts with doing what we feel is best for us first and then branching out from that premise.  It starts by giving ourselves the very things we are asking for and allowing things to flow freely.  If we do this and still end up not receiving a good percentage of what we give and do then being in relationship is not cost effective.  What I mean about cost effective is that it is then not worth the effort you are putting into it.  There is no a cash withdrawal for all the work you are putting into it.  Rather than to wait ten years to wake up from your self made nightmare it is best to cash your chips in when you are seeing early on that no matter what you say or do you are getting a lot less than you give.  Getting the love you want might mean moving on tot the next person who could and is capable of giving back and not selfishly withholding love and tenderness.

Getting loved in a manner that suits you means taking it by the tail.  It means that you are fearless and that you are going to grab it and demand it.  It means that you are not shy about your needs and they are clear in your mind and made clear to others.  Limping about hoping someone will notice and hand you a cane is just plain silly so if it is love you want and you want it your way buy your own cane.  Learn to get what you want when you want it and how you would like it by asking and not taking NO for an answer.