What Father Means
I know many people in my circle have heard this one before: "we are never not a father". No matter how old our children are we are never not a parent: a mom or a dad. I think in American culture it is more likely that parents finish their job once their children leave "the nest". People of color differ in this manner where we feel that our children are always our babies and we feel an obligation to stay connected to them and spend time with them. We are not ones to take the title mother or father lightly. We honor our role as a father and what it means to us is that we are forever the keeper and the protector of our kids. Not only do we spend time with them over the holidays, we make time for our children all year long. What father means to me is that I am available emotionally and physically for my daughter who are 31 and 36. I am available to them for some of the things they need in case there is something they must have or that they need. To this day I go shopping and get my daughters little gifts like a jogging pant or pajamas. To me father means being there for my kids all the time, not just when it is convenient for me.
I know parents who spend their winters in another state for most of the year. During that time they only visit one time during Christmas. Never mind that their children had birthdays or that any other event might invite some celebration or acknowledgement where they would attend. For them what they do for their children has conditions and it is done out of convenience when they have and make the time. In fact if one of their children want to visit them during that time they give him or her an ultimatum of the number of days they can be there, usually about four or five. Fathers who are fathers when it is convenient for them are for me not really committed dads. They are not the ones their kids go to when they are ailing or hurting emotionally. In fact these kinds of parents are usually the ones who left their children with sitters often and thought more of themselves than their children, hence an emotional disconnection. I imagine that for some parenting is a part time job and I should not have any judgement about it, yet I cannot help but to think how selfish that feels to me as a father. I won't ever understand it, especially when they claim to accept their children for who they are and they do not demonstrate that in their actions.
What father means is a person who is there throughout your life. Someone who takes the time to be with you and to connect with you. A father is a person who accepts his child for who he or she is completely and does things with his children that he or she may not want to do or does not enjoy doing. A father does things for the sake of their children and their joy. A father is there always at any time of the day or night and makes certain to let their children know that. A father tells his children that he loves them all the time as often as possible and shows that love. A father is a father forever.
What does father mean? It means that we have the job of love to share for as long as we are breathing. It means that our job does not end until we take our last breath.
I know parents who spend their winters in another state for most of the year. During that time they only visit one time during Christmas. Never mind that their children had birthdays or that any other event might invite some celebration or acknowledgement where they would attend. For them what they do for their children has conditions and it is done out of convenience when they have and make the time. In fact if one of their children want to visit them during that time they give him or her an ultimatum of the number of days they can be there, usually about four or five. Fathers who are fathers when it is convenient for them are for me not really committed dads. They are not the ones their kids go to when they are ailing or hurting emotionally. In fact these kinds of parents are usually the ones who left their children with sitters often and thought more of themselves than their children, hence an emotional disconnection. I imagine that for some parenting is a part time job and I should not have any judgement about it, yet I cannot help but to think how selfish that feels to me as a father. I won't ever understand it, especially when they claim to accept their children for who they are and they do not demonstrate that in their actions.
What father means is a person who is there throughout your life. Someone who takes the time to be with you and to connect with you. A father is a person who accepts his child for who he or she is completely and does things with his children that he or she may not want to do or does not enjoy doing. A father does things for the sake of their children and their joy. A father is there always at any time of the day or night and makes certain to let their children know that. A father tells his children that he loves them all the time as often as possible and shows that love. A father is a father forever.
What does father mean? It means that we have the job of love to share for as long as we are breathing. It means that our job does not end until we take our last breath.
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