Love Your Way 8
This is clearly the eighth blog about finding and getting love your way. In fact love should only be accepted in the form that you want it. Anything less than what you want out of love is going to make you feel incomplete. The reason that you would feel incomplete is because you are accepting less than what you know is your truth about love. All of us have some truths about love. The truths are the elements and characteristics that need to be present in order for us to feel truly loved. Here are a list of must haves when you insist on having a love relationship YOUR way, accepting nothing less than the best:
1. Demand respect:
No one should disrespect you even in jest. Respect means that you are spoken to and treated with honor and that your partner honors you by not uttering anything that seems, looks, resembles or mimics disrespect. Being called names that are not your own is a form of disrespect.
2. Ask to be first:
Don't allow your partner to pick others over you. You should almost always be first before any other person. When you are selected second, or third or forth in line often this is a sign that you are not getting the kind of love you merit.
3. Be attentive and ask for attention:
Asking your partner to be attentive to you is not asking much more than a very loving and attentive partner in your life who looks out for you and pays attention to what you say and what you are asking for. Being attentive is as important as it is to get attention but you should never have to be forced to ask all the time for the attention that should be natural.
4. Insist on loving language:
Always expect the most loving language from a spouse or friend. Never accept language that is inappropriate like F U and the like. No one who loves you should ever speak to you with words that are hurtful or harmful to your spirit or your heart.
5. Insist on Equality:
You should not be doing most of the work in the home or in the relationship. If you are doing more than your share and you see a very unequal balance in your relationship it is a bad sign and likely time to move on. Love your way means that you are treated with equality and that he or she pulls their own weight. Don't do more than what you should be doing because in the long run you will find yourself doing it all the time.
I am very impressed with how people get away with doing so little in relationship. The ones I call "self entitled" and the ones who believe that their needs come before anyone else's. This person is the one who does not love you your way and has no intention of doing so. They may in fear and in intervals meet your needs but it is short lived. These are usually people who had a lot done for them by their mommy. Unfortunately many men fall into this category of what some call Mama's boys. Unfortunately being a mama's boy is a lot more serious than we think. A person that thinks that others should do all the "punk" work are usually the ones who were not required to pull their own weight in the family unit. Things have been done for them that should not have been done for them. They lived a privileged life and hence transfer that mental and unreasonable requirements of others in relationship. If mommy did it for them then you should do the same. This of course is not getting love your way but in fact giving love to someone their unreasonable way. It happens a lot when we don't know what we want from a relationship and it happens more often to those of us whose needs were not met as children. We must be in awareness and know that when this happened that was then and this is now. It is a new day, it's a new life and today you get to say what is acceptable to you.
I guess now is a good time to say that we should not expect of others what we would not do for them. It is a given that if we want love our way that we do everything possible to meet the needs of the person we claim to love as long as it is reasonable and within reason. Having love our way is a two way situation and we cannot expect to get what we won't give. The people that I am addressing in my blog about love your way are the ones who tend not to ask for what they want and are givers. They are the many people who give and give and give until they are exhausted. This blog is for those men and women. It is intended to awaken them.
to be continued...
1. Demand respect:
No one should disrespect you even in jest. Respect means that you are spoken to and treated with honor and that your partner honors you by not uttering anything that seems, looks, resembles or mimics disrespect. Being called names that are not your own is a form of disrespect.
2. Ask to be first:
Don't allow your partner to pick others over you. You should almost always be first before any other person. When you are selected second, or third or forth in line often this is a sign that you are not getting the kind of love you merit.
3. Be attentive and ask for attention:
Asking your partner to be attentive to you is not asking much more than a very loving and attentive partner in your life who looks out for you and pays attention to what you say and what you are asking for. Being attentive is as important as it is to get attention but you should never have to be forced to ask all the time for the attention that should be natural.
4. Insist on loving language:
Always expect the most loving language from a spouse or friend. Never accept language that is inappropriate like F U and the like. No one who loves you should ever speak to you with words that are hurtful or harmful to your spirit or your heart.
5. Insist on Equality:
You should not be doing most of the work in the home or in the relationship. If you are doing more than your share and you see a very unequal balance in your relationship it is a bad sign and likely time to move on. Love your way means that you are treated with equality and that he or she pulls their own weight. Don't do more than what you should be doing because in the long run you will find yourself doing it all the time.
I am very impressed with how people get away with doing so little in relationship. The ones I call "self entitled" and the ones who believe that their needs come before anyone else's. This person is the one who does not love you your way and has no intention of doing so. They may in fear and in intervals meet your needs but it is short lived. These are usually people who had a lot done for them by their mommy. Unfortunately many men fall into this category of what some call Mama's boys. Unfortunately being a mama's boy is a lot more serious than we think. A person that thinks that others should do all the "punk" work are usually the ones who were not required to pull their own weight in the family unit. Things have been done for them that should not have been done for them. They lived a privileged life and hence transfer that mental and unreasonable requirements of others in relationship. If mommy did it for them then you should do the same. This of course is not getting love your way but in fact giving love to someone their unreasonable way. It happens a lot when we don't know what we want from a relationship and it happens more often to those of us whose needs were not met as children. We must be in awareness and know that when this happened that was then and this is now. It is a new day, it's a new life and today you get to say what is acceptable to you.
I guess now is a good time to say that we should not expect of others what we would not do for them. It is a given that if we want love our way that we do everything possible to meet the needs of the person we claim to love as long as it is reasonable and within reason. Having love our way is a two way situation and we cannot expect to get what we won't give. The people that I am addressing in my blog about love your way are the ones who tend not to ask for what they want and are givers. They are the many people who give and give and give until they are exhausted. This blog is for those men and women. It is intended to awaken them.
to be continued...
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