Soft Addictions 2 continued)
There are so many soft addictions that it has prompted me to continue a blog on the subject. The most common of addictions is work addiction. I find that workaholics are people who are either avoiding life or have a fear around financial disaster. Like many of the soft addictions work addicts work super hours like from 4am-10pm. They start very early but they also have three and four jobs. They stay busy, very busy. Some will admit that they work so much so they don't have to spend so much time at home with their partners.
Work Addicts:
People who work more than is necessary and who spend more than ten hours a day working. In fact the work addict is usually one who has more than one job. They may have up to three jobs. The work addict is usually avoiding something: loneliness, their spouse, their home life, their kids, problems at home or something else. The work addict is also someone who is in fear around money and the lack of it. Fear makes them work extra hours to have extra money to ensure they are never poor like their mom, dad or family of origin. They are avoiding something or someone or they are simply afraid that they will never have enough money. People who work a lot of hours usually don't make the best partners for people who don't work a lot of hours and want to enjoy the view and time with their family. Workaholics fall under an unusual category because they appear to be great partners and providers when in fact they are absent and not accessible to others who want to spend time with them like their children, friends or partner. Sad as it seems we promote work in such a way that it promotes addiction to work. It is often mislabeled as "responsible" and a "great worker" or a "productive go getter".
Healing from being a work addict is not as easy as one would think yet it can be done:
Letting go of one of your three jobs would be a good start. Hardly anyone really needs that many jobs and if anything turn the third job into a business at home where you could involve your children and your spouse. Something fun would be great.
Healing from working too much could involve reducing your hours at work. Decide that you will only work the eight hours required of you and if all the work cannot be completed by the deadline then meet with your supervisor and suggest that some of the work be delegated out.
Look at your finances and see if you truly need two or three jobs to meet your bills or debts. If you don't need two or three jobs to pay your bills and save for a rainy day then consider working one job.
Look inside your feelings and figure out what it is that motivates you to work that many hours. What are you avoiding? Seek the help you need to make your family situation one you want to come home to. Does your home need to be cleaner and more inviting? Does your partner need to step up or treat you with more love? What is missing that needs to be changed up or built up?
Talk to your partner about how he or she can assist you in finding a way to work less and spend more time doing things that bring you joy or that invite more time together. In fact have a family meeting as well and include the children and how they can be of help in the home. Many times we are avoiding going home to what we call "the mess" and this is a way to ask others in the family to create a home energy that is neater, cleaner, more organized and conducive to coming home to. Avoiding going home by working three jobs is not going to remedy what needs to be addressed.
Select which of the jobs is the most aligned with what you want to be doing and seems to have the most potential for growth. Talk to your supervisor about your financial goals and about the growth potential for you in the company as well as how you are doing. Get feedback that can help you decide which job is the best one to keep.
Finally, look at what is going on around you as a result of your "busy schedule". Are you losing touch with your kids and family and friends? Are you really just avoiding the feelings that are going to come forward anyway and that need to be discussed? Are you keeping yourself busy so you don't have to think about issues at hand that need attention? What is it that is going on around you that needs attention and put your efforts there instead.
Work Addicts:
People who work more than is necessary and who spend more than ten hours a day working. In fact the work addict is usually one who has more than one job. They may have up to three jobs. The work addict is usually avoiding something: loneliness, their spouse, their home life, their kids, problems at home or something else. The work addict is also someone who is in fear around money and the lack of it. Fear makes them work extra hours to have extra money to ensure they are never poor like their mom, dad or family of origin. They are avoiding something or someone or they are simply afraid that they will never have enough money. People who work a lot of hours usually don't make the best partners for people who don't work a lot of hours and want to enjoy the view and time with their family. Workaholics fall under an unusual category because they appear to be great partners and providers when in fact they are absent and not accessible to others who want to spend time with them like their children, friends or partner. Sad as it seems we promote work in such a way that it promotes addiction to work. It is often mislabeled as "responsible" and a "great worker" or a "productive go getter".
Healing from being a work addict is not as easy as one would think yet it can be done:
Letting go of one of your three jobs would be a good start. Hardly anyone really needs that many jobs and if anything turn the third job into a business at home where you could involve your children and your spouse. Something fun would be great.
Healing from working too much could involve reducing your hours at work. Decide that you will only work the eight hours required of you and if all the work cannot be completed by the deadline then meet with your supervisor and suggest that some of the work be delegated out.
Look at your finances and see if you truly need two or three jobs to meet your bills or debts. If you don't need two or three jobs to pay your bills and save for a rainy day then consider working one job.
Look inside your feelings and figure out what it is that motivates you to work that many hours. What are you avoiding? Seek the help you need to make your family situation one you want to come home to. Does your home need to be cleaner and more inviting? Does your partner need to step up or treat you with more love? What is missing that needs to be changed up or built up?
Talk to your partner about how he or she can assist you in finding a way to work less and spend more time doing things that bring you joy or that invite more time together. In fact have a family meeting as well and include the children and how they can be of help in the home. Many times we are avoiding going home to what we call "the mess" and this is a way to ask others in the family to create a home energy that is neater, cleaner, more organized and conducive to coming home to. Avoiding going home by working three jobs is not going to remedy what needs to be addressed.
Select which of the jobs is the most aligned with what you want to be doing and seems to have the most potential for growth. Talk to your supervisor about your financial goals and about the growth potential for you in the company as well as how you are doing. Get feedback that can help you decide which job is the best one to keep.
Finally, look at what is going on around you as a result of your "busy schedule". Are you losing touch with your kids and family and friends? Are you really just avoiding the feelings that are going to come forward anyway and that need to be discussed? Are you keeping yourself busy so you don't have to think about issues at hand that need attention? What is it that is going on around you that needs attention and put your efforts there instead.
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