Heal Your Addiction to Bad Boys

We all know someone who either admits or denys their addiction to "bad boys".  I think that people are a little confused about what constitutes a bad boy.  Our common version or definition of bad boy is a person who does bad things and a person who gets into a lot of trouble.  This for me is only one limited definition of "bad boy".  There are a lot of characteristics of what I think would make up a bad boy.  A bad boy is someone who is: selfish, a bully, a controlling person. a taker, a quiter, a coward and many more.  Bad boys come in all shapes and sizes.  They are the cheap skates, the emotionally absent guy and the unhealed alcoholic.  They are the guys who don't think twice about asking that everything is fifty fifty whether is is dinner or a movie.  A bad boy can be identified as a person who is cheap.  He is as my fiend would say "cheap with their money and cheap with their feelings.  Now that we know this how do we avoid and heal ourselves from that addiction to be with someone who is a "bad boy".

Ask Why:

Ask why you are so attracted to cheap skates, bullying men or mama's boys.  Is it that you are in secure?  Do you believe you don't deserve anything better?  One or more of these questions will help you to cure yourself of the bad boy syndrome.  When you accept someone who is cheap and gives so little it is a reflection of how you view yourself.  Work on yourself and do all the actions that will help you to look at yourself with a more loving lens.  Keep asking the why questions until you are sure why you are attracted to guys that have no motivation or goals or men who don't compliment you and hold you in high esteem.  Asking why and answering that question will help heal that addiction.  

Get the support you need: 

Once you figure out why you are so addicted to bad men now it's time to figure out what kind of club, support group or therapy you need.  Look at all your options including the free ones if you are on a tight income.  Also look at your insurance and what therapy it provides.  Talk to women who are with men who are loving, kind and productive.  Ask them what attracted this kind of person to them and how they feel about relationships with men who don't do their own work, who are cheap or just not with it.  

Read books on the subject and do some research: 

Study the phenomenon of "bad boys" and the women who are attracted to them.  How did they heal from that addiction?  What did they do to make sure they had a better experience the next time around.  One of them is doing the self work you need to do.  Doing the work means reading, meditating, exercising and researching.  Doing the work means taking a good look at why you are repeating this attraction to the same kind of men who are emotionally abusive or who simply are not present.  Find out everything you can about bad boys and the women who love them.

Take a Break from all Men: 
Take the time to go into your inner spirit and take a break from all men.  Don't date or see anyone during that time.  Use this time to just love yourself and to do things you love to do alone or with friends.  Don't date anyone.  Give yourself some time to relax and think about what attracts these types of men in your life.  Learn to be alone and enjoy that time alone.  Buy yourself flowers, go to movies, go out to dinner to your favorite place.  Write about your pattern and then burn it.  Write about the kind of man you do want to meet next time and save that list in a safe place like a beautiful box.  Manifesting a different type of man will take you thinking differently about men and what you will accept next time, no less than a real man.  While you on your break think about that kind of man that you know you deserve and why.  Think about specific traits of this man you will meet.  Eventually that will be the kind of person you will meet.

Don't Expect Him in a Bar or Club: 
The likelihood of meeting a good guy in a bar are lessened by the venue you are meeting him in.  Many of the men you there are looking for one night stands and if you take notes most of them don't dance.  They are there for one reason only and that is to meet the girl of their night not the one of their dreams.  In addition if you go home with a man on a first encounter he will verify in his  mind that you are easy and that you are not likely dating material.  Even though we can think of him in the same manner women are judged much more harshly around being one night stands.  Bars are loud and not condusive to getting to know anyone or meeting a good sober person.  Try libraries, art galleries plays and the grocery store.  You are much better off meeting someone at a gas station, unless they are holding it up.  Alcohol and finding love really are not the right mix, certainly not the ideal mix.  Healing from bad boys is realizing where not to meet them and where it is most conducive to meeting them.  Say no to bars and clubs.