Love My Way 6
I woke up this morning at 4am because there where two things to be completed: One: my car was due for a scheduled maintenance and I had a doctor's appointment at 10am. I picked up my daughter on the way to the car shop and we took the train on North and Clybourn to a restaurant close by where she works at NMH where I have my appointment with the oncologist. As I sit in the lobby of the hospital waiting for my good friend to meet me and attend this visit to the doctor with me. I watch people frantically passing by me many of them looking like they are in a hurry. It makes me think about self love and how for that reason I took an early retirement after 29 years in the crazy work world as I would refer to it now. I am more than happy to have left a situation that was not just toxic it was venomous. My relationship with the people I worked with was at most cordial and the work was extremely stressful. It had a lot of title and did not have the pay to match it. It had a lot of responsibility yet very little satisfaction or meaning for me. Lots of games and lots of players and lots and lots of haters. But alas now I have a choice and the choices that I make are based on loving myself my way. I highly recommend it.
Being loved your way begins with loving yourself enough to make yourself first. Love your way happens a lot when you are alone and is best found in your own silence and solitude, even when you feel alone. Love your way means that you get to say when and how you are loved and by whom. My daughter who is 31 was asked by a woman if she was married and had children and when she said No neither the woman told her "don't be so picky". My daughter has dated but simply not met the guy she would like to spend her life with or marry, least of all have children with and I think that it is a good thing that she is "picky" and waiting for love her way. It makes more sense to wait than to settle for someone you are not aligned with. Someone who is not going to meet your needs or someone who cannot love you in a way that you would like to be loved or deserve to be loved. I say do be picky and do determine what you want out of love before you make any serious decisions. The world is filled with people who are together for convenience and other reasons having nothing to do with love or having their needs met and let's be honest, there are so few people who are willing to give what we need from a relationship. Maybe just want from a relationship, never mind need.
Love my way is love with a meaning. Love my way is love with some elements of joy and laughter. Love your way might mean love and comfort and fun. Being loved your way is as important as loving someone their way. We have to be willing to give up something special and to do some things that the other person interprets as kind, generous, thoughtful or compassionate. Left to our own criteria we become takers and we forget how to give. We have to be reminded to give and although we should do so without being asked many of us tend to be more takers than givers and so the reminders are a necessary evil.
In order to be cared for in the way we deem it we must ask. Asking is not selfish as some might have been raised to believe, like myself. We believe it is selfish to ask for what we want yet asking for what we want is an essential part of being a person of joy and feeling complete in relationships with others. The minute we stop asking for love our way we get what we get and it is a lot like getting the leftovers. If we don't command respect and love then we will surely not receive it and most times others will second guess us and our needs. When that happens we again get whatever we get and many times it does not look like what we were hoping for. That is because we left it to chance.
People complain a lot about not getting what they need and want from a relationship or a friendship yet they don't ask for anythings specific. Asking for love the way you want it ensures that this does not reoccur every time you start a relationship. It is just as important to stipulate what you don't want.
Being loved your way begins with loving yourself enough to make yourself first. Love your way happens a lot when you are alone and is best found in your own silence and solitude, even when you feel alone. Love your way means that you get to say when and how you are loved and by whom. My daughter who is 31 was asked by a woman if she was married and had children and when she said No neither the woman told her "don't be so picky". My daughter has dated but simply not met the guy she would like to spend her life with or marry, least of all have children with and I think that it is a good thing that she is "picky" and waiting for love her way. It makes more sense to wait than to settle for someone you are not aligned with. Someone who is not going to meet your needs or someone who cannot love you in a way that you would like to be loved or deserve to be loved. I say do be picky and do determine what you want out of love before you make any serious decisions. The world is filled with people who are together for convenience and other reasons having nothing to do with love or having their needs met and let's be honest, there are so few people who are willing to give what we need from a relationship. Maybe just want from a relationship, never mind need.
Love my way is love with a meaning. Love my way is love with some elements of joy and laughter. Love your way might mean love and comfort and fun. Being loved your way is as important as loving someone their way. We have to be willing to give up something special and to do some things that the other person interprets as kind, generous, thoughtful or compassionate. Left to our own criteria we become takers and we forget how to give. We have to be reminded to give and although we should do so without being asked many of us tend to be more takers than givers and so the reminders are a necessary evil.
In order to be cared for in the way we deem it we must ask. Asking is not selfish as some might have been raised to believe, like myself. We believe it is selfish to ask for what we want yet asking for what we want is an essential part of being a person of joy and feeling complete in relationships with others. The minute we stop asking for love our way we get what we get and it is a lot like getting the leftovers. If we don't command respect and love then we will surely not receive it and most times others will second guess us and our needs. When that happens we again get whatever we get and many times it does not look like what we were hoping for. That is because we left it to chance.
People complain a lot about not getting what they need and want from a relationship or a friendship yet they don't ask for anythings specific. Asking for love the way you want it ensures that this does not reoccur every time you start a relationship. It is just as important to stipulate what you don't want.
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